Even the Sky is Flawed

This is more of a rant. I apologize if its not what you normally enjoy reading from me.

Last night we slept on the soft beach sand
Just laying and looking up at the stars.
They mocked me all night, remember?
Reminded us their beauty will never be ours.

Your passionate kisses melted my brain away
So the sky surely looked to me like a face.
I laughed and said the moon's an imperfection
You said even the sky is flawed as I stirred in your embrace.

The grains of sand reminded me of my imperfect skin
But you pulled me to your sweltering chest.
And whispered into my ear that nothing is perfect
 And all that was needed now was peace and rest.

I tugged on your hand when the waves tickled my feet
You ran your hand down my waist when my stomach gnawed.
You whispered the sweet gifts I granted you with were proof
That even the sky can please man when its flawed.

Author's Note

Sorry if its not your cup of tea. I just kind of needed to rant :)
Nevertheless, give me your honest criticism and opinion.

Reviews

[E. J. Withers]

I definitely enjoyed this. The images you painted are lovely, and it all flows pretty well.

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

Simple and Perfect and just lovely like New freshness of love Don't Change a thing . Just Lovely i love love I am in love with Love this ones going into my favorites

[Drifter]

This is a peaceful piece. Definitely not bad. There are a few things that could be worked on. Some of the lines could do with some tightening and reworking. It is a bit short, but I'd break it up so it doesn't look like a chunk of words. Other than that, not bad at all.

[Alexis]

I really like this poem! I could really imagine it all. Great job :)

[nono]

I don't agree with you that the sky is flawed...But I do see your point and it can be...So this is very nice i liked it a lot..

[Atheana Kylee-S. C.]

This poem is good, a little short but it's still great. :)

[PaperHearts]

Aww, that was gorgeous! I loved the imagery that you created, and I found that reading this really hit home for me, because I've grown up beside the beach my whole life, and a lot of my fondest memories have had the beach incorporated into them! :P I thought that the whole idea of the sky being flawed was really creative, and I thought that you captured the concept of it in such a beautiful way. :) Great work,
~PaperHearts

This was fantastic. If this was a rant, then it was a beautiful rant! "That even the sky can please man when its flawed". Wow, that was gorgeous. This is going into my favorites.
100/100

[r]

Wow.. This is amazing, beautiful. If it's a rant, it's the most beautiful one i have ever read! This is amazing, and I adore it. :)

[Forever Mine]

I love the imagery in this. Very enjoyable to read : )