Even the Sky is Flawed

This is more of a rant. I apologize if its not what you normally enjoy reading from me.

Last night we slept on the soft beach sand
Just laying and looking up at the stars.
They mocked me all night, remember?
Reminded us their beauty will never be ours.

Your passionate kisses melted my brain away
So the sky surely looked to me like a face.
I laughed and said the moon's an imperfection
You said even the sky is flawed as I stirred in your embrace.

The grains of sand reminded me of my imperfect skin
But you pulled me to your sweltering chest.
And whispered into my ear that nothing is perfect
 And all that was needed now was peace and rest.

I tugged on your hand when the waves tickled my feet
You ran your hand down my waist when my stomach gnawed.
You whispered the sweet gifts I granted you with were proof
That even the sky can please man when its flawed.

Author's Note

Sorry if its not your cup of tea. I just kind of needed to rant :)
Nevertheless, give me your honest criticism and opinion.

Reviews

[kelly]

i like it. its soft and sweet and has a cool flow. good job dude :)

[Jess.]

Aww, I really like this! Such a soft piece.

[Eva]

your words in the peom are soft as the sea and the motions. it reminded me of the times i went there. how the ocean has a gentle touch, the moon and stars shining their beauty on us but yet you put moor than that in it. the truth that nothings perfect and how we pale to the night sky beauty. i really also liked the feelings you put in it! i toatally love it!

[Emunah June.]

Aww!!!

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Good work in this one..I especially like the first stanza..Very descriptive and expressive write with good use of metaphoric language..Keep up the good work..Sunflower

[Coyote Poetry]

It was a low key rant. The description was gentle and the words kind. The flawed in a body make each of us special. I like the feel of being at the ocean and the whispering of gentle words. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Matthew Kult]

Beautiful work. Not much more I can really toss on. Great flow.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Another lesson of Mother nature... that the imperfections are what makes us unique... nicely stated.

[LynLee]

I thought this was..... beautiful! the only thing I thought was wrong is that I kept reading the same line two or three times..... maybe seperate them a little more becuase its so small, it would be easier to read! 100/100!!!!!!! and favoriting!!!!!

[Senseless whatever]

Excellent write. The imagery is great and the message comes rushing through.