Even the Sky is Flawed

This is more of a rant. I apologize if its not what you normally enjoy reading from me.

Last night we slept on the soft beach sand
Just laying and looking up at the stars.
They mocked me all night, remember?
Reminded us their beauty will never be ours.

Your passionate kisses melted my brain away
So the sky surely looked to me like a face.
I laughed and said the moon's an imperfection
You said even the sky is flawed as I stirred in your embrace.

The grains of sand reminded me of my imperfect skin
But you pulled me to your sweltering chest.
And whispered into my ear that nothing is perfect
 And all that was needed now was peace and rest.

I tugged on your hand when the waves tickled my feet
You ran your hand down my waist when my stomach gnawed.
You whispered the sweet gifts I granted you with were proof
That even the sky can please man when its flawed.

Author's Note

Sorry if its not your cup of tea. I just kind of needed to rant :)
Nevertheless, give me your honest criticism and opinion.

Reviews

[Calypso]

Such a wonderful poem. The love is strong in this poem. So nice.

[moderndaypeterpan]

I am in love with this. I love the last line "even the sky can please man when its flawed" It really gives hope. I'm an idealist to the mix and often love things so much that I can't control it (a lot of my "poetry" is about that) So often I feel disapointed. This helps show that everything is flawed. but everything is capable of being awesome and loved.

Was it my cup of tea? Yes it was! I think u have a great poem here. I know this is irrelevent but I love ur hair! :) And I have always wanted to call someone Cloud. :) My favourite part of the poem is the imagery! This is really nice! I think I'll read more of ur writing after this one. :)

-SaimaS

[Justin]

Its very nice, a very subtle scene played in my mind haha. Honestly tho, it is very subtle and sweet. I really enjoyed this writing, it reminds me of what the term "cute love" is all about!

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

Even the sky is flawed. Beautiful. Personally I think the sky is one of nature's greatest creations, and 'even the sky is flawed" really just...got to me. I also love that, although how something is flawed, it doesn't mean it's loveless. Great work =)

[Amy Bumpas]

This is a nice, cute poem...reminds me of young
love, and all the emotions we have that go with it.
I love poems that include nature, and your little
add of it was a perfect setting. If you ever have
anything for me to read, send it:)

[Bard Constantine]

If this is a rant... then how lovely your poetry must be. I enjoyed the way you brought the scene to life, I could feel the wind and the sand at my feet... a wonderful introduction to you, my new friend...

[NXT Eoin]

Nice job :)

[sammyj]

I do like this

[alan peter kelly]

beautiful write...excellent...lovely language...inventive phrasing...well balanced and with a most polished finish...admirable...commendable...and entirely my cup of tea