1: Meeting Noah Constance

Chapter one of Remembering Innocence.

1: Meeting Noah Constance

      "E-excuse me..." came a tiny, whisper-toned voice from behind Xavier.
      He turned around, pushing strands of wispy black hair from his eyes and adjusting his backpack. Standing one stair lower than him was a small red-haired girl with big ice blue eyes, who also carried a load of textbooks. She wore a creme skirt, brown leggings, a matching turtleneck (the sleeves went past her hands) and black ballet flats. On her nose was a pair of thin-rimmed glasses. The girl's face was pale and it was fairly obvious she was blushing.
      "Oh, sorry," Xavier muttered, moving out of the way so she could pass. She didn't move; staring at Xavier and wiping her face with one of her sweater sleeves. Xavier raised one eyebrow after a long while of silence, and at that moment she jumped a tiny bit, blushed harder, and sped off past him.
      Xavier watched the girl run off. He glanced at the stair she stood on before and realized she had dropped her watch. It glimmered silver in the overly-lit hallway. It was a pocket watch, one like he'd never really seen before. The numbers were in some other language or something, and the glass wasn't glass at all, but... Something golder in color. The hands were ticking faster than a normal clock.
      He looked in the direction she took off in and strained his eyes to spot her if she was still in sight. There she was, standing shyly at her locker, putting textbooks in her backpack. Xavier reluctantly grabbed the watch from the ground and pushed past the mobs and clumps of students to reach the girl's locker.

      Throughout the school there was your typical high school students; there wasn't "cliques" as in some cliche schools. There were regular groups of students, the sports teams, the manga club, and typical friends. There were also mixed groups, such as one that was known by everyone.
      There was a husky, muscular tower named Jason Henning, who accompanied a small lollipop, bubbly and adorable blonde-haired girl named Rosie Milyi. He was like her big brother and bodyguard at the same time. Along with them were twin sisters, Awa and Satou Miyazaki; the identical Japanese exchanged students. A jock named Jeremy Frischmon also was included, who was known for his ambition and arrogance. He was a jerk most of the time, but everyone knew he was sweet on the inside.
      The last member of the infamous group was none other than Xavier Whithrung, the musician and dreamy songwriter. He was the sweetest and most kindhearted boy known in the school, but was constantly thrown at with drama and rumors.
      The group was strange and mismatched, but they fit together like a perfect puzzle.

      "Hey, I think you dropped this," Xavier said, holding the silver watch out in his hand. The girl was motionless, her face rosy pink. She looked up at him with sparkling, nervous eyes and opened her mouth to speak.
      "I-it's okay, keep it," she said quietly. She closed his hand over the watch. Xavier was surprised.
      "Really? It's your watch, I think you should have-" he began.
      "I want you to have it, its fine," the girl cut in. He smiled and gave up without a fight.
      "Okay, thanks," he said. "What's your name, anyway?"
      "M-my name's..." the girl started. "My name's Noah. Noah Constance."
     

Author's Note

Please point out any mistakes, spelling errors, and grammatical errors. I'd like to hear any suggestions or opinions, give me your complete honesty.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY! I don't want to be slammed or flamed by someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, please. <3
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! ;D

Reviews

[Alexis]

OMG I LOVE THIS FIRST CHAPTER!!!! I shall read on!

[Taylor H.]

I thought this line could be re-written "She wore a creme skirt, brown leggings, a matching turtleneck (the sleeves went past her hands) and black ballet flats."

The girl character reminded me of an anime girl. Thats adorable

I thought you had too many sentences. There were parts that ended in a sentence when I thought it should have been more, like "She didn't move; staring at Xavier and wiping her face with one of her sweater sleeves. " I thought that should have continued into the next sentence.

I thought teh word "clock" was used to much.
Combine some of your sentences

What did you mean by "here wasn't "cliques" as in some cliche schools." There will be cliques anywhere you go.

I thought the description of the friends was miss placed. I thought maybe you should have stayed on track with the girl and the watch and then mentioned the school and people in a later chapter.

But other than that, Im glad I read this chapter. It was mysterious and adorable at the same time. Great job. I will read on.

[Jonah]

Hmmm...not as epic as I thought it would be. But I'm hooked. I have to read the next chapter =P

[Corvus]

I think it's very well written. You could describe the surroundings a bit better. What is the school like from outside? You jump right in to the story without telling the reader. I can't wait to keep checking this out, though. Keep on writing!

[Kitty Nyght]

I think this is great.

[Kira]

I'll say to you what I've said to many others: paragraphs. Big blocks of text are just scary.

Your second block of text doesn't seem to fit with 1 and 3; perhaps you could save it for chapter 2?

Already interested...

[Keevan]

ah, a pocket watch. perfect lol cause that's how I envisioned it the first time I read this lol. Awesome :)

[Keevan]

I have fallen in love with this from the first chapter. You must continue. I can picture this as the PERFECT anime! I kid you not!

I did not notice any errors what-so-ever, but I think you should've described the watch a little more clearly. Like, was it a pocketwatch? A wristwatch? A necklace with a watch on it? So, that really kind of bothered me a little.

But keep writing! Noah seems interesting, and I'd like to see what place she has in this story.

~Keevan