My Love

Ah, a sonnet I wrote in class... It seems I have unlimited inspiration when my love is in the same room.

To come and lay down words is but a task,
A life without you means but my defeat
To love someone behind their plastic mask,
Sweet words become a puzzle, now complete.

Desire doth now cloud my sight and mind,
A painted work compares to bursting love
It seems as now the stars become aligned,
I wouldn't doubt a song leaks from above.

A melody from Heaven will seem dark,
When all the earth wakes from it's little dream,
The seraphs call for worlds to pause and hark,
Just to see your face, a radiant beam.

God calls for quiet when you speak a word,
There's nothing you will say that won't be heard.

Author's Note

If you aren't aware, a sonnet is three quatrains and a couplet of iambic pentameter.
Basically three stanzas with four lines each, and one stanza with two lines. The rhyming pattern is ABAB CDCD EFEF GG.

Reviews

[Ethan]

This is a pretty sonnet. The only word that sticks out is "doth." It wouldn't be a problem, except you use contractions in the rest of the poem to fit your lines in iambic pentameter. Mixing old language with modern language creates a disconnect between the text and the reader. So, I'd suggest reworking that line to eliminate doth, or, if you really love doth, eliminate the contractions that take place in the rest of the poem. Good job.

[charlotte talley]

good one. I love the last line.

[kelly]

now thats good, and i mean teally good. i tried to write one of those but i kept on geting messed up with the iambic pentameters, that really does rock dude. :)

[The Uncommon Muse]

loved the last lline of this..."God calls for quiet when you speak a word,
There's nothing you will say that won't be heard.".....just love this....wonderful sonnet Jessa

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

Wow I love it.Amazing work this is going into my favorites

[Justin]

Wow, that was one of the best sonnets ive read in a very.. very long time!

[Emilia Kuemin]

I really like this, but the second line is the only one that caught me. I think re-using 'but' so soon was okay, but messed with the flow a little bit.

[R E Tree]

I love the font you have used for this poem. To make the flow better I would change the colour of the second stanza but thats just my opinion. I believe it has a out standing flow and the poem also makes you think about it more as you re-read it. I think the language you have used is all perfect what needs to be improved is nothing. You are a talented and inspiring writer

[Dokuro-chan (Toeto-chan..]

Cool! :) I really liked this! :)