Truth.Be.Told

I.won.der.how.she
Feels.ly.ing.to.me.eve.ry
Day.know.ing.she.cares

Reviews

[Carmen]

hmmm.... funny. i've been on this haiku thing today. see, i hate haikus. but there's this thing on the forum (some kid trying to write haikus - was a bit amusing) so they've been on my mind. then i was reading about them - then posted some more crap in the forum about haikus... so this is kind of a perfect day ender haiku. like how you separated the syllables.... the message was powerful although i read today they are supposed to be about seasons and weather and s**t... but really - who cares? if i were to try and interpret i'd say either a lover or a friend cheated or is hiding something big and the narrator knows... i dunno. :) anyway i hate haikus.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I think this is a 'senryu' by the way - same structure as a haiku but not about nature
unless you want to debate
on the concept
of nature
how humans are nature
therefore so is
whatever we do
like robots, murder
and shampoo?

bring it on
[ha]

[Ryan Gilroy]

The truth is often a tough thing to swallow and ingest when you realize that fiction of our lives is the best spot to find some truth. I like your haiku seeing it's a simple and easy message to get across but far too often we can spread it out into cliches, boring moments and things like that. I find that your piece seems to hit a stange accord how you can get only seventeen syllables to create such a range of emotion in three lines. I commend you the piece seeing its simple and to the point and yet your diction was precisely and deliberately chosen which makes it even more powerful.

[Dawn Jones]

interesting. I feel the same.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Not many people are brave enought to apply unusual techniques to haikus; they tend to be descriptive image, descriptive image, summary.
The separation by full-stops ("periods") enforces the 17-syllables-only rule, and lends your haiku a very defined rhythm.

Am i cheating
being
unfair
or just lazy
offering a review
for a haiku
hoping
in return
for a review
from you?
Is this an
intrusion
upon
something i don't understand;
reviews in verse?

Probably.

Shame i don't
quite have
the skill.

I liked this; it's completely open to interpretation by the reader; you force us to use our imaginations and wonder what the background is, who and what the narrator's talking about.
Thanks for posting this.

[eli mercuree rue]

i was just playing
dude shut up lol

[lostintheworld]

i have to say that initially i was going somwhere way far from here
but
when you toss in the part
about why you wouldn't talk about it
this perplexes me
cause usually
we (the collective we) avoid
what we dont want to say
if it's the other person
that we're saying it about-
birthing the words
then facing them... (inahush)
which leads me to wonder if
the who is me
but i dont get it...
i feel the sting
but i cant see
and i feel like i'm close
but can't put my finger on it

am i lying? or "hiding from" as you said...
about what?

or is my paranoia leading me to me
and really now i cant see anything else??

[eli mercuree rue]

a
n
d
when you do let me know who its about..
not that i dont know..
i just wanna know if you can figure it out..
maybe realize why i wouldn't talk about it..maybe

[lostintheworld]

and the reader will try and solve it...
it's a new side of you i guess...for me.
anger hurt
the combination

it stings
when read.

hence my unhealthy obsession- which i'm suspending only cause you asked...

[Racheal]

This is really intriguing as it shows you have reason to belief that someone is being less truthfull to you than she should be and that you suspect its because she cares for you. Thats an intresting point - is it better to tell the terminally ill that they are doing god and let mind of matter do its work or trust they are strong enough to handle the truth and still recover. Not that you are either but i really like the enigma you put out there for the reader to try and solve.

[Matt Randall]

I like how you seperated each syllable with a period. It makes it read very rhythmically, like tap tap tap. I like it.