The Results of Wartime Dysphasia

Rising, only to fall back into place we have long since begun
Accepting what could only be rightfully stated as
Wartime dysphasia because
Men, in times where we need[ed] nothing more than to be loved and viewed equally,
Assimilated the manufacturers line
Treading treachery through false acts of treason
Embezzling sexual freedom from our pockets
Respectively, by means of their defining term of reason,
Inflicted wounds into our wombs as we
Aspirated toxic fumes into fellow witches chests
Longingly awaiting the day we would be praised in his
Sanction

Author's Note

wartime it's a war everyday ya know

Reviews

[Ryan Gilroy]

A very interesting piece of poetry. I didn't realize the letters going down the line and then after re-reading your poem i had picked up on more of the diction, the language seemed a lot more crisp and a lot easier to read. After all it was said and done your content seemed nicely placed and the diction seemed to work itself out perfectly.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hokay, for starters, i'm liking the title - inability to communicate.
I personally wouldn't limit that to gender, but in terms of war, i see what you're getting at (ha, yeah yeah sure you do).

"fellow witches" - love this phrase to express 'other women'; it comes after talking about wombs...do you see creation, pregnancy etc. as a kind of witchcraft...magic? Or do they (men)?

"Treading treachery through false acts of treason" - more of your great alliteration.

"Embezzling sexual freedom from our pockets" - very vivid visual imagery (alliteration! lol).

Like the other reviewers, i think this is fine and am not sure why you dislike it.
Do you know why yourself, or just not keen?

Thanks for posting this.

[lostintheworld]

I love how you show we have risen, but just now enough, because maleness will always win- and will always be higher- something more to rise to...
the quest for equality- an attainable one, i'm thinking not... it'll never be enough- even if we castrate them...
We are produced and molded by not just men but society to become this image that they expect...- sex as a commodity- so true...embezzled
wombs not even ours anymore-

just had to say that...

[Racheal]

Dont know why you wouldnt like this - it is very good and the truth. I know this from personal expierence of being in the military. Boys like nothing more than to prove their macho by being bigger and more dangerous than other boys. Sadly they will never learn that might does not make right, but by then it will be too late.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Why do you not like this? It says so much about war and the crazy cohorts who praise war,mankind in general.
I love the whole of it, a good message all TRUE!

Peace

I would never pick on you.. You are awesomely awesome .

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

ok, how long should we wait?

[lostintheworld]

you mean i have to pick? cant i just fear it all??
um...yeah delerium..i don't even know whow to spell right now...
but i like
and you will too
when you get sleep