Slump

She grabbed me by the neck

I jumped as she squeezed

Falling to my knees

Staring at the ground

My legs contorted in their

Hairy mass

A mass massive like destruction

Riddling and fondling- this must

Be what disease looks like

What it feels like [touch

Touch, touch] what it tastes like.

 

How long does it take for taste

Not to taste the same?

 

We have a lifetime to run, to change

But Nostalgia, [oh Nostalgia] calls our

Dirty names and we are trapped

Back again tripping in the

Same little baby traps we’ve known

Since before we knew age.

 

Who ever would have thought a gate

Could keep us out

Or in

Or safe

Or alive to die another way?

 

 

 

Author's Note

old habits are hard to change.
not too amazing but i liked it a few minutes ago.

Reviews

[Cassandra]

And I like it now that I've read it and will a few minutes from now. Old habits do die hard and nostalgia.. I think can be a nasty disease. You get caught up in the past. ( I realized this recently after visiting a good friend I had a falling out with.. I realize now .. that we're different and we cant base our friendship on how it was.. we have to create a new one ) And you cant go back to the way things were ... period, and there's no sense in dwelling..dwelling keeps you from your future.. a gate, a fence of some sorts. Your poem seemed to scream that at me.. and was really befitting for these recent discoveries I've made. Thanks

[Kristallo]

Hm... I liked this more and more each time I read it. The beginning starts out so physically- she's grabbed by the neck, she's reeling and blurring and then she's swept into this wave of nostalgia that leaves a metallic taste in her mouth, an uneasy feeling her stomach. She's deliberating the riddles in life, expressing so much with maturity and cynicism. You have a powerful way of writing, it's so blunt and honest, never revealing too much so that the reader can draw his/her own conclusions from what you've given. I really admire it.

[Raef C. Boylan]

The voice changed for me in that final stanza - in a good way - like Larkin leapt out from between the thighs to pose a question [that'd be weird].

The more I read this, the more I like it and the more overwhelming a conclusion it becomes.

"We have a lifetime to run, to change
But Nostalgia, [oh Nostalgia] calls our
Dirty names and we are trapped" - good internal rhyme [also great words, but that goes for the whole thing]

You ever sucked on one of those square batteries? Kind of tastes like that.
Mispent childhood I guess haha.

I like how complete it feels, how much ground it covers.
Yo LE, thou hast returned methinks.

p.s.
"not to taste the same?" [uppercase 'N'?]