To Repeat

We met in the center

 

Coming from two opposite positions

 

Of the time line

 

Minds attracted like magnets and our skin binding

As if they were two parts of an unbreakable adhesive

 

Stalking and Talking

 

Heavy and Heavy and Heavy and Heavy

We collide and collide time over time

Fold

Ding

 

kcaB into corners and circular entrapments

 

Smile.

 

            I’ll grin.

 

Reciprocate. Repeat. Reciprocate. Repeat. Reciprocate. Repeat. Reciprocate. Repeat.

 

Get it?

 

Be un[true] to [pro]tect me even though me was protected and I should have protected I from me because I failed to see that the truth was free and tailstalestells would chain I and so I

 

I am sitting here

Looking at

                        you O_o

Not smiling

While I’m smiling

To make you smile

            So that this act of concealing everything I am not

Will prevail  through your pessimism.

 

In truth I am worried.

 

Worried about what my eyes see

And what they could never grasp

And where it is that they will take me,

Where they will pierce

Where they

Where they

Where they

 

Where I will fall.

 

 

Author's Note

Self: Wow don't take this the wrong way.
Self: um yeah

damn i feel like im sealing our fate

haha

cool
no not really
i chage that word later

Reviews

[lostintheworld]

Get it?



Be un[true] to [pro]tect me even though me was protected and I should have protected I from me because I failed to see that the truth was free and tailstalestells would chain I and so I

I am sitting here
Looking at
you O_o
Not smiling
While I'm smiling
To make you smile
So that this act of concealing everything I am not
Will prevail through your pessimism.




this reminds me of untruths.... and i was talking about untruths this morning
right around the time you were writing this poem.... so it's random in a way

[Raef C. Boylan]

Oh, I read it like you-ooh
[like shoobeedydoo]
but it's a face
like poetry for the next generation
who won't know what words are
and will dig hieroglyphics
because it's graffiti
in pictures
haha

i'm cool with it

formatting made use of like
"we met in the centre" oooh-eee over here

and stuff like that
works pretty well
even Kcab is cool
better than
d
o
w
n
because we're killing that one

i also liked
Fold
Ding
dunno why
guess i'm in love with microwave sounds
or something

hahahahahahaha
yeah hysterical
is what i am
maybe

I dug a lot of this
hey:
i
dig.it.al

extra-especially this part:

"Not smiling
While I'm smiling
To make you smile
So that this act of concealing everything I am not
Will prevail through your pessimism.


In truth I am worried."

LE back on form
with the excitement
or is this an oldie?

great s**t
outtie

[Dan Gray]

My favorite lines were the ones that repeated words: "heavy and heavy.." "repeat. reciprocate" "collide and collide" etc. I am not sure exactly how the brackets fit in, and I wasn't too fond of the o_O face. However, I suppose it is a more experimental form, hence the spacing. For me, that did not add anything -- but if it is important to you and you can justify it's use, then I think it supports the poem well. There are some cliche images but also some fresh ones. Overall, I'd say good work.