Vicious like Withdrawal

When you must choose

I want you to

take the higher road

 

and

 

inhale me until
the only smell that you smell
is the one that lingers
and your chest is full with my
best ...            burning warm sensations

 

that leave you stradled

upon god's lips

begging for freedom

 

and when you begin to think it's

over, I want you

to know it's just begun

brace yourself

 

 

 

and come

to

 

 

floating on a piece of me
better left unsaid

unless saying is your only salvation

since there is no more of me
to pass around

 

since you have chosen

to take in the core of me.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ok hmm seeing how many minds i can change over the context of the poem if i change the picture


haha

and pussy and pot are still the best combo
ever

ha

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

do the roles switch
or have i misunderstood
[haha poetic and sexual repuation out on the line here]

"I want you to
take the higher road"
[the good hole]

ohno wait
it's all the same person's [hole],
just

"brace yourself


and come" threw me off; I thought it was a play on words - and still think it is, but not as literal as I first thought, not the narrator telling other person to come[cum] to, it really is "come to" but also a reminder for the reader of come[cum]

...right?

"since you have chosen
to take in the core of me" - molten lava erruption...right? Or the narrator's personality is founded on sexual drive? Excellent finish.

Both graphic and not that graphic at the same time - works really well.
We can enjoy the read without knowing the whole situation

"floating on a piece of me
better left unsaid

unless saying is your only salvation"

because the language, tone and layout are all enthralling.

Yay. Very cool write, and you got applause from below too.

[Jess: ~The Sidekick~]

Wonderful read honey. I can't really say anything that anyone else hasn't. Keep up the good work, darling.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

and p***y and pot are still the best combo
ever


I can't even dispute you. As for your piece? I LOVE this piece from you. The dialect carries a viciousness. Well crafted.

[Caitbabie008]

Great write! :)

[lostintheworld]

are you saying that you're God
and i straddled your lips... haha
or that i'm god
haha
haah
jk...

[Malcolm Eades]

Quite sexy. Very well spoken. Especially the 'unless saying is your only salvation.'

[Dawn Jones]

I like this. It floats, so to speak, in its rhythm. Very sensual.

[Jessica Young]

"that leave you stradled

upon god's lips

begging for freedom"

Provocative and sensual. Very rousing read.

-Jessica

[Angelic Darkness]

Yes, the authors note is a distraction.
I will say a genious way to put the two together..lol!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

your author's note sort of DETRACTS from the beauty of the piece, ya big dork! lol

but anyways, if i IGNORE that, lol, then i have to say this is incredibly sensual and the imagery is great... it's quite transporting, really. and i kinda love it

nice job!!!!