[..take]a.Little[mis..]

THiN slice
of lemon to go in
my lemonade
please..

yessuh


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it was an amusement park
and everyone wanted a ride
to full.fill
their.need
of
full.fill.meant
to
no longer be
hungry
random feeding
was 17 years in the making
and
ice
chips
were at an all time
HiGH

how sad will they be
next time
i come by not walking
on my own
set of leggies
but sprawled out on a stretcher
cause i didnt read the sign

No AdMiTtanCe
unless you
are a GuY......

haha
Fuckers
let little ole me
skip[Sip]
prance
on by

Reviews

[lostintheworld]

everyone does want a ride right
cause whether you buy into the compulsive hetero, or your inclination steers you more towards the other side of that line- somehoe most people need that other in their life to feel complete. And to a degree we are in love with our selves and seek that out- and often find either our self in the other we choose, or the ability to see ourselves through the others eyes thus finding that same love...perhaps.
anyhow i need to stay focused..haha
to find that means you'll no longer be hungry
and the random feedings of what you've been looking for were 17 years inthe making only now they seem somehow unfulfilling as you realize it was like eating ice chips that slowly froze you, or melted away into what ultimately became piss...haha

they
they
they....hmmmm

[Lauren Stegg]

This is my favorite of yours that I've read thus far...but god damn it messes with me. I'll think one thing, that another, then something else entirely. I have at least four different interpretations of this piece. Maybe that's why I like it so much. It's like trying trying to decipher a riddle.
I see something rebellious here...like a "f**k you" attitude. Something sexual too.
"No AdMiTtanCe
unless you
are a GuY......"

Sexual orientation maybe? I'm going to read this poem again tomorrow. I will figure it out.

[Raef C. Boylan]

"If life gives you lemons...
...tough s**t kid."
Little bit bitter?
I don't know.

I like this. A lot.

Life is a ride?
Riding something intended for guys...(just fecking around, that bit was there for me the wholetime i'm just playing dumb[a*s] )?
OR inequality as regards gender?
Not in some radical feminist way but just because it's there fo' sho'.

Rarrrrr s**t Lauren
i want to get this one
sincerely
but the ice chips throw me off

they give them to women in labour in the U.S [sitcoms]
i don't know what they are over here
chips of ice
like little kids shovelling snow into their mouths
and all the mums yell and hit
[it's dirty!]
cos a dog might have pissed on it

ice chips
do they sell them at carnivals?
like hot dogs and candyfloss and slushies and ice chips oh my

That final stanza is great.
F*****g funny yet somehow poignant at the same time because of what came before

and very you.

Thanks for sharing this.
But i need some help in the figuring out department.

It reads really well.
Great rhythm and interesting technqiues without distracting from the piece.

[lostintheworld]

lemonade is what you got
and you want more lemon
cause it's the same
as opposed to binary opposition which is essentially what society forces through compulsory heterosexuality...hmmmm

i'm still deciphering further...

[W Alt. Burns]

you my friend have what it takes. this is f'ing awesome.


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SWEET!!