three 15

somewhere on the planet earth

where the Son [shining b.right.] meets the water three times a day and wears the hell out of his orange liver [ticking tickly] tick brace.let just to let in a fresh breathe.E-Zzz.breeze underneath the vulgarity of sobriety sucking sweetly on his pulssSEeaaAwkwardly plea[s]ing / [the] optimissim erecting from his retractions and orderly factions of the sanity dis.placed [interjected.injected.injested.dejected.digested] between the blue and purple pea.pee.pill boxes / freely Swangin' [sangin'] like the cow who jumped over the one yellow Moon that grazed the hills of [an] Alternate Past across the street from an Interspecies bar [Galatea ukniight] the best nymph sea nerd so far...

at threeFiFthTeen threefifthteen three.15

...a nonmilking baby cried out and matched his pitch thus far like the so far... complete / and i was GoiNGgoiNGgoooooN.e for the long haul around the bend of my dir.tea.est [allusionary] sins /peck.ing peace[fully] persistent at the eyes of a soaring sore.ring soooooooooooooooo.ring eagle in the sky who was up so dammmmmn HiGH that i could feel theweightlift off my.shoulders, fall quickly down and crumble into the mouth of the BuSHhh / remnants of the shhsh... shocking|my|seashells that i got from the she|at|the|shore. / who was just lookin' iNtoo...

the eyes of the seaman |shuttering| foulsfallfalsely [the phallicphalliciesfreefallin'] formably fighting false satisfaction around the pat.tell.ah that holds him together... he's breaking at his knees

Author's Note

my favorite poem

Reviews

[lostintheworld]

i have to taste this some more before i say anything that might remotely resemble intelligent feedback....

but sore ring.
milking
and orange tickly...ha
those are just
making me giddy
school girl giddy
cause we know how they feel
school girls...
ha

we haven't even gotten started yet.

[V M Smith]

heh. i like it. : )

[Charlotte Marie]

Very interesting style! I really like it! This a great piece! Thanks for a great read!~Charley~

[Raef C. Boylan]

I like this
and it's just your thoughts
which is like saying i like your thoughts
and i don't think
i think that
because your thoughts are
only partially shared here surely
and every day
you'll have new ones
or maybe stale ones
with the crust cut off
and extra jam
editing all the time
shoving microphones in our own faces
we are our own media
medium large exta large
supersize life and f**k the fries
because the salt glistening in your eye buckets
is over your reccommended daily
already and i'm sorry
sorry for everything

"where the Son [shining b.right.] meets the water three times a day and wears the hell out of his orange liver [ticking tickly] tick brace." - the first f*****g line and you have me, because the dances with words performed here, and the ones you pull out of the hat while the brackets distract us in the spotlight...f**k yeah. I'm loving "and wears the hell out of his orange liver"...although i haven't yet worked out if it's a reference to something, or just imagination working overtime. Either way, it's great, but as always curiosity-greed overcomes my politeness.
What thing of the "water" could represent its liver?
Am being a dumbass probably.

"underneath the vulgarity of sobriety" - applause; this is quite thought-provoking in terms of role-reversal.

"[interjected.injected.injested.dejected.digested]" - those freestyling, mind-playing word association games again...love it; this one more clear in its direction, but still fun and clever.

"purple pea.pee.pill boxes" - more fun.

"like the cow who jumped over the one yellow Moon that grazed the hills of [an] Alternate Past" - i enjoyed this image, and the several semantics of "grazed". Nice one.

"nonmilking baby cried out and matched his pitch thus far like the so far" - something about this seems Olde Worlde; it's also sad (i've interpreted it as neglect).

"was GoiNGgoiNGgoooooN.e for the long haul" - good work on the stretching, the dialogue...i don't know what i'm trying to say, but again i liked this.

"soaring sore.ring soooooooooooooooo.ring eagle" - a rapid spatter of conflicting images.

"shocking|my|seashells that i got from the she|at|the|shore" - good luck if you ever perfom this one aloud lol. The familiarity of so many phrases and concepts that you shuffle about makes your work endearing on a widescale (in theory anyway).

Yeah, good work. The proseiness of it helps it seem a little different to your other stuff, but it's still your voice, devoid of doubt - humour, brutality, command of the letters.

Thanks for sharing this.

Lacking in knowledge to analyse it on a higher level.
Obviously.

[lostintheworld]

And I will put enmity(1) between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head(2), and thou shalt bruise his heel.


yeah so my last review disappeared and so i am reposting it....weirdness...
anyhow...
yeah, we discussed seahorses before
in submissive part two...and so i see that, i also see this whole other meaning...this raging feminist
but you know that...and i saw it in submissive too...the duality...the flashbacks, the feminist...

but after remembering genesis 3:15...and thinking about seeds....
and aphrodite bringing galatea to life.. (they so wanted lesbian love)
i just
want your seed

can i have your baby?

[lostintheworld]

oh yeah..forgot to say the fouls falls falsely...like phallic phallacies... mindfuck, i know you can...

[Lyra Day]

I have always loved your style of writing. Keep it coming... I enjoyed this very much.