Stay

This is a plea in the form of a freestyle poem.

Stay-

please stay.

I will make love to you when you command me to -

my body will be yours as you need it through;

I will breathe the rhythm of the thoughts in you,

I will leave when you need to be alone,

I will fit into your closed palms -

I will think of you,

so you have a place 

here.

 

If silence is what you need,

I’ll be still like the night that exists far from this city,

and I’ll be idle and idyll so you can gaze at something pretty;

and I will be stronger,

and I will no longer listen to the thoughts

that permit wrong behavior,

and I will find it in myself to love myself - 

at least until the bitterness within me

has fermented into poison.     

                    

We'll intoxicate ourselves with it!

And we’ll sleep it off

and when we wake again

all that I am will belong

to a tiny corner of the world

that burns and pines and turns

just to see you leave it in the morning

to do what you must

and when you are through

return to me.

Reviews

[Stephen]

Excellent!

This poem`s conveyin' the depths of the loved ones. When the nights come along the shining moon up in the sky, the lovers hide behind the darkness makin' their souls to be one allowing the hearts feelings or inhalin' the kind pleasures of intimacy which a love serves and the bodies bring `em. Lovely poem, All the words are came right from the flesh of your heart. I`d like look forward to reading your stuffs!

[Tracey R]

Thank you Stephen! Look forward to reading your stuff!

[Zoe Naga]

Wow! M no expert but I loved it. So honest and complete...

[00000000000000000000000..]

wow powerful write all the way to the end:))))))))))))))))) awesome work:)

[Chris]

One minor cut and paste error. I suspect it was a dash that the quotation mark replaced near the end of para. 2.

An interesting view on "needing" or finding you must "settle" for company vs a more emotional sharing. This one hurt for its truth.

He or she makes good money, or looks good, or you can change them into... or so many other "reasons".


Toward an actual critique: You defined your thoughts, expressed with unambiguity.

[Cory Barrett]

This is fantastic. It spins my mind back to a day in my life that was filled with desperation from one, and an unwillingness to bend by the other. It was a sad day, very sad.

[Tracey R]

Desperation is such a good way to put it. How it feels impossible that things might not go a certain way, like you won't make it through it.
Thanks for your words. Looking forward to reading your work.

[A. Amos]

I have to give you 100/100 on such wonderful writing, every man on earth want to hear such words from the one he love; This was elite way of describing madness of love and you did it brilliantly. I have to read more of your work as I really am fan of your work. This I will save in my favorite...simply epic!

[Sakshi]

Beautifully written!! I am numbed by it...
"to do what you must
and when you are through
return to me"
very powerful lines!!