Eeeep.

I sent Nikia a message this morning. It read, “I’m sorry that I’ve been so evasive as of late. The reason I haven’t wanted to hang out is because I can’t help but get the feeling that there is a little more to all of this for you, and I don’t want to be a part of any game.” It was liberating.

 

An hour later I received a call from Sariah. I was in the process of trying to win her back after period of emotional turbulence that had rocked us both. I thought I had a chance. I had even started running again.

 

She sounded distant, like there was something on her mind and from the tone of her voice when she greeted me- I knew I was fucked.

 

It turns out, that when she had stayed over the night before, she had gone through my messages and read in great detail, a conversation between Nikia and I.

 

She told me that she couldn’t do this anymore. She called me pathetic and asked if I was, “tapped in the head,” and closed with what little to no respect she has left for me.

 

By this point, all hope was lost, so I kept any and all explanations to myself. They would’ve been nothing more than a waste of breath.

 

I had only ever spoken to Nikia over the Internet and only ever out of anger- as cruel as that may seem. It was my childish attempt at retaliation for whatever damage had been caused during one of Sariah and mines arguments, from which there seemed no resurrection.

 

Nikia was only ever a pawn in my game and I’m assuming that I was only ever one in hers. But every time that that anger faded away to a more rational thought process, I’d be left feeling as stupid and guilty as if I’d just spent the night with her.

 

I knew it was wrong, but I also knew that deep down, my conscience would never allow me follow through. It was always going to be an empty threat. A hollow invitation.

 

I’ve only ever wanted Sariah. It’s been that way since we first met. Just the idea of knowing that one-day, she could be all mine, gave me the muscle to laugh in the face of withdrawals.

 

Only now do they really begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Judy]

I have never evaluated a story - I like this very much - and am really intrigued by the emotion that you have invested in this.

[Mr. Henley]

Literally just went through a similar situation, the writing made it very easy to make the connection. Great job.

[VALENTINE]

These are real people and I'd have to say that's the first thing that caught my intrest, there's a lot going one behind this a lot of emotion I spent a whole afternoon trying to conceptualize I won't congratulate you on your actions but I will thank u for sharing this. It helped somehow.

[tyson]

glad it helped man. thanks for the read!