Lost Soul

Poem about someone in a coma.

The eyes are cut out of sight.

The body loses it's might.

The brain stops thinking

The legs start shrinking.

The heart slows down.

as the smile turns to a frown.

The skin starts to dry.

The loved ones cry.

Considered as a lost, soul.

The doctors doing their, role.

Hope is everything but, alive.

The dead do not, strive.

The heart beats, still.

In a horrifying, chill.

Closed away from the, world.

Wondering what he, heard.

Is death, cruel?
or is it, kind?
Is he, deaf?
Is he, blind?

What, shall we, do?
Let, us, save you?
Do you, wish the, end?
Do you, wish to, extend?

We,are,lost
Leave,you,in,frost?
will,you,come,back?
we,do,not,want,regret.

Author's Note

This poem is about a family, confused whether to let their friend/family member who is in a coma, either to keep him alive(with a very small chance of reviving), or to end his pain. The poem is also written using a lot of commas, I beg of you if you ignored these, re-read the poem stopping at each coma. This is to emphasize that the man, from whole is being split to pieces by time. In the last two stanzas, you'll have to pause after each word. As you can see, the lines slowly lose their meaning when read with all of the stops. In the last line, the family states that it does not want regret, meaning that they do not want to kill him when he would have revived, but they would not want to let him live when it'll only just prolong his suffering.

Reviews

[...]

. oh, this is just so unforgettable ... the sheer agony of it all ... one of the most challenging of life's predicaments ... redefining human helplessness ... this one tears apart the insides ... brilliantly written ...

[Ry]

I'm reading a book in which a parent was asked to sign a DNR for her child after giving birth. The baby was born with osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone syndrome) and was very lucky to survive birth. She had a broken rib that, if I remember correctly, punctured something very important. CPR and surgery was immediate. Later in the book, it is shown that the child, at six years old, had broken 68 bones. Her family had one income and four people. The child's mother decided to sue her physician, who was also her best friend, for wrongful birth. This was a choice that would no doubt affect relationships with her children, husband, and best friend. Even if the mother in this book made some wrong decisions, I think she has tons of courage for being so strong, making decisions for her family's well-being, even if it meant she could lose everything, including the person she thought she was. I can only imagine the doubt the character would feel, thinking that she made the wrong choices.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I think this was a very sad. I know people don't want other people to suffer. A lot of people suffer. I have never seen anyone go into a coma, but I know people do. I hope that never happens to any of my friends. It would slowly eat at me and then I would turn into nothing. I wouldn't want to choose life or death for someone that I want to live. I would have left the room and cry my eyes out. Anyways I think this is a good write. It was very meaningful and it made me think. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Martina]

The theme of this poem is a bit morbid - but you transcribed it to be so beautiful and poetic.
Starting with the line: "The heart beats, still." It changes to a more rhythmic pattern, almost like a hearbeat weakening. That really put me in awe, it is such a great tool to use patterns and stanzas as a form of a poem
Great write, loved it.