Bless my curse.

I kneel and pray.
To whom, I cannot say.
Eyes close, head down.
I pray to whoever listens.

Bless me, with my instinct of survival.
Bless me, with my frozen heart.
Bless me, with my shrug of carelessness.
Bless me, with my mind of cruelness.

I kneel and pray.
To whom, I cannot say.

In this world, nobody listens.
So I pray to my own soul.

Curse my heart of kindness.
Curse my undeniable faith.
Curse my helping hand.
Curse my love of peace. 

I open my eyes,Darkness still surrounds.
Except for a single candle, a white flame on top.
I stare in awe, enjoying the little light.
Frozen in my position with delight.

Losing count of all time, I stare.

Until the candle starts to shrink.

Drops of wax drop down on the floor.
Strangely freezing as it falls.

The drippings freeze together, on top of each other.
I take a step closer, stepping into the frozen wax.
I now can see a white flame, as pure as light.
Blinds the rest of my sight.

The flame is my magnet as I move.
However, I am repulsed by the frozen wax.
As it melts by my touch, leaving a hot moat
around the candle. The flame grows and goes wild.

Now red, corrupted and uncontrollable.
The flame becomes fire as the wax melts.
Surrounding my whole body, I quickly kneel.
Before the wax cools, and I become a candle.

My only choice left, to pray.
I still am to this very day.
I pray to you, not to follow.
Do not let the flame turn red.

Curse my curious nature.
Curse my beating heart.
Curse my lack of reason.
Curse my trust in faith.

Author's Note

Is untrustfullness a word? I have my doubts. Please answer. The entire poem is a metaphor, which is a strange one, I know. The person is praying, and while praying blessing the quantities he needs and cursing the ones that are holding him back. The flame represents our heart and passion. The poet is at first in awe of it, and stares(follows) it. Until he sticks in it's wax, it's remains. The poet is forever frozen in the red flame's wax. In his final words, he tells the reader to not let the flame turn red. Endless prayer continues, this time only cursing his "bad" qualities.

Reviews

[FocusedAmnesia]

I read it, and was glad I thought about it before reading the author's note. I'm glad I got what you were trying to get across, that the summary I came up with matched yours. It was an amazing read.
"Bless me, with my instinct of survival.
Bless me, with my frozen heart.
Bless me, with my shrug of carelessness.
Bless me, with my mind of cruelness."
This was my favorite stanza. I think, because those are all phrases that describe me. Great write.

[Lighthouse Call]

I had to read it three times to get the thing.. Then I read the authors note, and I realized how close I was =) Excellent write! I loved it! Yeah, I often find myself talking to God.. well just someone like you said, cause I'm not sure of what to believe in. This could easily be turned into a great song. Yep, I'm sure you'll write a lyric bomb one day =)