Frozen Monster

Poem about logical reasoning against pure feeling.

For every choice we have to make,
they can be eliminated down to two,
Either listen to the calculating ice,
or to the passionate beat.

I always picked the ice.

The ice lead me to a life of glory,
giving me knowledge at my fingertips.
While the passionate beat slows,
never listing to it's voice.

Slowly yet steadily I gained wealth,
and soon I was living inside a dream.
All thanks to the calculating ice.

All decisions, I listened to the ice,
trusting in it's clever judgement.
The ice started to consume me,
and slowly, I was freezing.

It betrayed me.

The ice continued it's frozen dance,
soon every part of my body was chilled,
and I was completely replaced

with a frozen monster.

The faint smile I once had,
Frozen solid to a constant frown.

Always calm, always cool,

never angry, never happy.

why did I pick the ice?

One day, the beat had returned,
Beating and yelling with energy!

For once in my life I listened,

and a small smile showed.

It soon vanquished the beat,
silencing it's voice forever,

 and forever I shall be,

the frozen monster.

 

 

Author's Note

I think this turned out quite good.

Reviews

[Devons]

The irony of choice here between the two different forms of reason is shown well and the results illustrated nicely. I like the play on words that is employed between "pick" and "ice"... The analytical mind the metaphor refers to is brought into focus somewhat by these symbols: it does indeed "pick" at the "ice"..!
Overall, the poem works pretty well, and puts across the warning of allowing oneself to be too much of the "head" than the "heart".
The only thing I wasn't quite convinced of was the penultimate verse: it seemed a little unnecessary. It would work better, I think, if the last two verses were combined and condensed maybe... or rewrite the last and delete the other.
PS. check the poem for errors, I noticed a couple.

[Jessica Mai]

I think this turned out to be quite good too... In fact very very good. You used the subject of ice so cleverly and it all made perfect sense. I really enjoyed this one. Awesome write.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is very good. Easy to be cold then give into love and gentleness. Ain't no pain or disappointment for a frozen and cold hearten soul. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

I guess some people think they are trying to help by giving there "constructive critisism" Forget all that, I mean unless you are asking for it. I see a poem that you wrote & it is very creative. Don't change a thing unless that's something you want to do.

[Lighthouse Call]

I like this poem! Making use of elements is a very good idea, they can be modified in different ways :) excellent poem!
I love the ending, you put a good rhyme to it!