Our Flower

A poem about our reactions when we face a problem.

There are times in which we slip

times where we lose our grip.

We lose our minds' control

and hide in our personal hole.

From our hole, we cower,

protecting our flower.

The flower makes us tame

but still gives in to the rain.

Some emerge, ready to fight,

not needing a guide.

Some are slow, and move cautiously

and succeed, eventually.

There are a few who never leave,

protecting their flower,morning till eve.

The world outside the hole is gone

as the rain pours on.

And all is left is our delicate flower,

in which under it's petals

We cower.

 

Author's Note

I haven't wrote anything for a while, so I may be a bit rusty but don't hold your tongue!!!

Reviews

[Jessica Mai]

I love this man!! You wrote the message so perfectly about how some of us either get back on our feet or just stay collapsed on the floor. Awesome! My personal interpretation is that the flower is our fears and we can either hide under it, or emerge out of it as a new person. Great piece!!!

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

Rusty?? I think not! This was excellent and so very true, in my opinion. As I read along, very specific images came to mind. You captured the act of hiding away wonderfully.

"The world outside the hole is gone
as the rain pours on.

And all is left is our delicate flower,
in which under it's pedals
We cower."

Well said, spot on!

~True

[Devons]

There seems to be very little evidence of the rustiness you speak of. This is beautifully arranged and delivered; even the shape of it on the page is pleasing to the eye. The words themselves are also very pleasing to the inner ear, and the rhyme scheme and word scan is pretty much perfect.
The last lines are very telling and put across with dramatic, yet gently persuasive power.
The lines i particularly admire though are these...

"The world outside the hole is gone
as the rain pours on."

[Scandalous]

Very beautiful very tame use of words. Very beautiful and not even borderline boring. You did a great job!