Story of Medevil

My very first Story

This is a Story From TZ

Once apon a time there was two knights training to make peace to the world. They were training all night and all day. But one day they came apon a demon and started to battle it out. But they died.
Then the next day two priests walked by and found both knights on the ground dead. Then the priests brought them back to their house and revived them.The Two warriors looked around weirly wondering what has become of them. They have fallen to a demon and they became enrage.They became so enraged that they killed everyone in their way. then one day four sorcerers came and found them standing over one hundred dead bodies.The knights griped their swords and charged at their foes. Tripping over the bodies the knights manage to make it to the sorceres, but they shoot a wave of magic at the knights knocking them back into the pile of dead bodies.Then the knights ran untill one day they could get there revenge. But as the knights got stronger and stronger.The Sorcerer's got stronger and stronger aswell. Then one Day the knight were over powered by the devil and became Demon's. Then the next day the Sorcerers made a army and fought back with the 2 demon's armys and this battle came to a end when the both armies made a peace treaty and they split the land into 2 peice's.100 years later rumors were spred across the lands to actually make the lands hate eachother. One side thaught that they knights were theifs and took their woman and the other thaught that..They stole the most persious treasure of them all. The Knights Stole all the status of god... Which made the whole land poor. One day these Knight came back to Raid the temple of Gods and found 420 Soldiers standing at the gate. The 420 Soldiers were armed and ready for battle.Three years passed and the Knight nor the soldier returned they laid get infront of the gates. But far in the distance there was a army getting ready to take over another town. Then make their way to the Cities and Castles.The town and cities were getting ready for the biggest battle they have seen before. The towns were making weapons and they were training all their kids to be able to fight if they were older then 18. If they weren't older then 18 the people that lived in the forests took them in as there own.They gave the food and shelter for the kids to live in. If the towns were taken over the people that lived in the forest would continue the fight untill. They got the town, cities and Castles back from the enemies.Then one day the enemies Army started attacking and the towns people attacked back to defend there town and there pride. The first wave struck the town hard 100 towns people died and some of the Knights in the towns died as well. Then the Second Wave stuck harder. They were all Heavy Horsemen and Pikemen. But the towns people stood strong and killed the second wave. Then the third Wave stuck and killed everyone in the towns. So the people in the forest got ready for war and the kids from the towns were forced to live in the mountians untill the war was over. The people from the forest were the best Archers in the World. Then the third wave came and again. But the people from the forest out smarted the Enemies Army and moved onto the top of buildings and fired arrow at the Enemy and killed them all. Then the kids came from the mountains and lived in the cities again. Evenything was back to the peaceful ways.

Reviews

[It'sLexiB47]

you have very.....interesting story lines but the way you construct them throws of the interest in the plot
maybe putting a little more thought into the grammar structure and the way you present the actions in the story would help
sorry if that review seemed cruel at all
i didnt mean for it to
just a little constructive criticism =]
-alexis :)