Raining Angels

Suddenly across the globe, large, feathered, rotted corpses begin to drop out of the sky. They are soon identified to be Angels.

"Daddy, what is that?" my daughter ask, her voice quivers slightly as she points her finger towards the sky. I pull her wagon to the sidewalk and snap my head towards where she's pointing.

What in the hell...

There is a corpse falling down at a meteoric speed. It resembles a human; all four limbs motionless as it descends down towards the earth. When it starts closing in on impact, it becomes very apparent that we are witnessing something other worldly.

My adrenaline starts surging through my veins; my body shivers with fear. I scoop my daughter up off her feet and push off the pavement with my back foot with all the force I can muster up and began to sprint to our house.

"Chelsea, take Olive and go in the basement now. Just turn the TV on and stay there! Do not move!" I yell, I can feel the blood in my face dissipate. It must have frightened my wife, my face being that pale and all. Before she can even ask what's going on, I'm already on my way in securing our house.

"Ok, all the doors are locked." I yell down the basement hallway, as I sprint by towards the front door, "I'll be back in a little bit!"

I had eyes on where that thing landed. I had an array of feelings hit me as I watched the creature fall lifelessly down towards our earth. One may think I am foolish for jumping to conclusions or making baseless assumptions but I felt an overpowering sensation of happiness hit me. I can hardly begin to explain it but I do know one thing. I have to have some answers.

It was near the old trail off of 72nd. I began to run again, adrenaline still at full blast. It's only a quarter mile down the road past the entrance of our neighborhood, so I get there with a blistering pace. There the creature lies; I can see the golden feathers radiating from thirty feet away.

Euphoria overtakes me again and my body halts to a violent stop. I can't move an inch; I am straining now, every fiber and ligament in my body is trying to push forward. My face feels like it's being smashed flat into a solid brick wall. The pain is excruciating but I can't retreat or advance. I am stuck. My hands slowly lift from my sides and I place my palms on the invisible barrier and exert all my energy into one last push for freedom.

I let out a barbaric scream; a scream that I thought did not exist inside of me.

"Let me help you!"

The creatures eyes shift over towards me, I get stuck in it's mesmerizing gaze. I think it's a female; her eyes twinkle with a swirling mix of blue and gold. They resemble a pupil but not solid; almost like two gases swirling in a crystal ball. Her dainty feet and hands, as well as her face are luminescent and glow a hot bright white; similar to an imploding star. The remainder of her body is covered in enough gold that King Tut would be envious. Each feather emits brilliance from a creator far from this earth.

The barrier ceases now; it must have been a defensive mechanism of some sort.

She begins to open her mouth slowly, the words fighting to come out.

"Human... heaven has forsaken us" she says, the veins in her neck strain and her eyes wince in pain. She is speaking her last words.  "This battle is yours now... Protect your daughter and fight for good."

She saw my child too and she cared enough to speak of us in her last breathe. What is this thing?

Her chest raises a few inches higher than normal as she gasps for her final breath. Her eyes now hollow and empty; the once space like gases of gold and blue that engulfed her eye are gone and now sit lifelessly like two pieces of burnt out charcoal. She stares aimlessly into the sky, as if she is giving her traitors one last look.

We are going to war now.

With who is the question...

Reviews

[Aslan Gerards]

Firstly- Is this just going to be a standalone story? (if it is a reference to something like a fanfic that I don't know about, ignore a good deal of this review) The story is very cool. The simple setting and fast pace of the plot makes it exciting, and the mystery is great to ponder. Although, it could be a bit more polished.

Secondly (Some general things)- Some of the human's reactions are bizarre. Euphoria at seeing a giant, dead alien corpse is not a normal emotion. Perhaps that is the influence of the Angel itself, but try to make that more clear to avoid making it seem like the dude is a necrophile.

Thirdly (Some nit-picky things)- Some conjugation issues (first line, "my daughter ask(s)"). Also, be careful with some punctuation like semicolons. And, "the blood on my face dissipate", I don't understand what happens there. Describe it more or take it out.

Final Review- Really cool, creepy sort of story. Seems like a prologue for a really good book or the final part of a H.P Lovecraft story. The draft is a little rough, but then again it never won't be. Good job!

If you have any questions, you can message me.

[NewWriterOldWorld]

First off, thanks so much for the review. It is nice to have a piece of mine actually analyzed and reviewed in great detail, so thank you for that.

This was actually an old piece that derived from a writing prompt I did about a year ago. It is definitely not clean and considering I have just recently put a lot of time into writing, it seems a majority of my work ends up being pretty dirty.

You were spot on with the influence of the angel comment. Now that you pointed it out, I really do see where you are coming from. That was a very pertinent part of the angel and her powers, so I definitely should have explained it more thoroughly.

As far as turning it into a story, I am not for sure. Writing a book is daunting but in the end, it is the only reason I write. I have a goal of completing a book in the next 10 years, so I am always looking for good ideas. I have a variety of writing prompts that I have done that I feel I could build a decent story from, but I suppose it comes down to me putting the time and effort into getting going.

Anyways, thanks a ton for the comments!