Faulty vault of fear

Starting to feel like this loaded gun is about to pull the trigger ,
I'm seeing the movie fade to black ,
The clock striking twelve ,
And my minds getting lost in the hay stack ,
But I'm the prick you'll prick if you put your hand in the grass ,

What's with the excuses and justifications that justifies my attitudes ,
Must need a bottle , cause I'm whining ,
And I cut the cheese , so they smell the bullshit I espouse ,

I'm questioning my realities reality , cause my nightmare is my day dream ,
But I'm screaming when I awake ,
Can't fake that , but I'll fake what love I got ,
It expires in an hour ,

I heard you say , oh how you express yourself ,
But all I'm seeing is another opportunity to grab that soul and twist the knife ,

You say oh how you're such a nice guy , but all I see is an opportunity ,
An opportunist I am , so be my muse ,
But know ,
My muses are the reflection of my projection that has a loaded gun ,

And the bullet is what's choked on ,
Thoughts and beliefs regurgitated like a soulless zombie ,
So take my words like a grain of salt and eat it ,
Taste the bitter sweetness of a soul full of angst ,

Cause the day I grow a heart ,
I'll ask for a double by pass , pass out , pass the knife to the left ,
Cut deeper , bleed more , smile less and address the issues of my faults ,
Locked in a vault of fear ,

An endless illusion my ego uses to trap my heart , soul and mind

Reviews

[TheOne&Only]

Wow such a harsh way to view ones-self. Its saddening to me, to feel the pain and anger in this writing. I dont feel sorry for him, but I do hurt for him (you)...Very powerful emotions expressed vividly in this writing, almost as if you just spilled out your empty soul into this..its painfully beautiful! But you are def. not alone in this...