Chapter 3

there is a time and place for everyone and everything. you fit neither.

 

 

 

An icy wind drifted through my open window adjacent to my bed, bringing my thoughts back to focus. I pushed Iian to the back of my mind. He wasn't worth the energy i was beginning to draw with my own amped emotions. I pressed my hands against my earphones and squeezed my eyes shut as i willed myself into a passive calm. The tingle that my fingers sent through my body when they fluttered against my ears helped draw my attention from the negativity the idea of Iian always brought about. I focused souly on my Beethoven and drowned my thoughts in his beautiful symphony as i imagined a peaceful escape.

My peaceful escape was one provided by my very imagination so that i could find my center in a raging hurricane. Since I was a tiny child, i had always suffered with intense emotions. The energy forever seemed tangiable to me when others seemed unaffected by the very fabric of this universe. But it wasn't until my later teenage years that this 'ability' increased seven fold. It seemed as if the universe itself became stricken with overwhelming Grief, Pain, Anger, Love, Despair, and any other emotion that leaves behind a raw, intense, energy. It was as if the universe's path was becoming tampered with and the effects where to have the energy increase and seek out 'vessles' for a hope to escape. But i was beginning to understand something that not even the universe seemed to quite comprehend.

That no matter how it tries to seek an escape, energy is as doomed to this existence as our souls are.

No release actually releases you. Seeking a freedom from this depressing world is all but a fantasy. Souls are trapped within the universe. Trapped and bound by the very energy that seeks release itself. Souls travel this universe throughout time. Trying to come to terms with a fate that none want to accept. Paint it with lies and pretty colors. What is the outcome? Nothing but a lie. Lies weaken. Only true power comes with Truth. And the truth was, without the energy that haunts me, this universe would never exsist. Blame it on whichever God. But know this. There is no God who created emotions, energy, electricity, or even matter. There is only what there is before us. A world full of way more bleek than happiness. I can not hope to have people understand how this energy speaks to me. I can only hope that someone along the lines understands that this world is bound by a force. A force that has a magick all it's own.

Lying in my bed i could litterally feel the energy surrounding and encasing the air. It feels as solid and transparent as a lovely summers warmth upon naked skin. To bask in it's glow is a chance. Basking to long will result in a sunburn with after effects. Much the same way with energy. Beauty but lethal. A way to describe it. It's heavy upon my shoulders and light as well. I shook myself with self awareness as Beethoven came to an end and proceeded to play False Pretense by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatis. I knew i was allowing the energy to draw me away from the calm. But seduction and temptation to explore the vast, haunting of my life was always hard to recognize as my thoughts would shift straight to them. Energy was as tricky as trying to decide who recieved the death penalty for genocide. Never knowing the real culpret never helped.

"Set up false pretense!" The song, thankfully, snapped me out of my second trance. I let myself float away from the face of the world. Imagination always was my escape. It was all pretend and if i didn't like something. Poof! Presto! it was changed.

Far away from society, in the midst of a rain storm, there's a rain forrest that encases a secret seclusion for me and only me. A waterfall hides a cave in the side of a steep gray mountain side. A clearing made of a natural spring, a beautiful mountain scene, and a cascading waterfall. Within this cave i find true solace. I know it sounds gay...or at least fru fru. But nature, solitary confinment within the earth, soothes my soul. It helps to dissipate the constant energy that eats at my being. Of course. This place is only as real as the perfect guy. And for those who don't get that reference. It doesn't exist no matter how much wishing is involved.

I imagined laying, not on my bed, but on the cool earthy floor of the cave while being surrounded by nature's sweetest symphony. The air teasing my skin, while stray dropplets of rain desended upon my skin. The smells of nature chasing away my every fear, hope, desire... every emotion. replacing it with an unidentafiable calm. I pictured digging my hands into the dampened earth that lay beneath me, a way to hold onto a dream that couldn't possibly have any solidity in a world like this.

Forget Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and the Afterlife. When i died, my ultimate peace would forever be here. Residing in this cave. My own personal sactuary. Accessable at all times. Made purely for my needs. The thought sent a selfish electricity surging through my veins. If i was considered mentally impared, so be it. i had found a bite of cake that hit the chocolate craving of a lifetime.

Then, as soon as i had found my escape, i was drawn away from it. I was hit with a wave of energy so violent it had me throwing myself to the edge of my bed before reality could even hit me. My world began to spin around me as the all to firmiliar bile pushed its way up my esophagous. I was going to kick myself later for eating that barbeque when i knew i couldn't contain it. But that's not what held my attention as i empited the contents of my stomach into the trash can that forever stayed at the side of my bed in case of this. I tried desprately to gain control of my body and being as my world only spun faster as the dry heaves started. I knew what was coming next. The convulsions. Only one type of imediate energy could cause this insanity. Well, any could really. But out of nowhere, i knew this particular energy like the back of my hand. The Violence and aftermath of Death. Incorperated with Fear, Anger, Questioning, Regrett, and utter Cruelty, i knew this wasn't just death. It was murder. And the energy sought to be released. immediately. A migraine rocked my head as my vision blurred and i began to feel my strength fade. I grasped the covers upon my bed and force my quickened breaths to slow. I didn't ask for this curse and i didn't want to possibly do more damage than was coming from the apartments below mine. All control dissipated after as a new wave hit me.

Innocence stolen, a rage made from the universe as a new borns life was taken, intertwined with all the aspects of death and murder hit me harder than anything ever had. Almost like a simi. The last image i had before my eyes rolled into the back of my head was a wave of pure energy surging from every pore of my body, disentagrating everything in the room except the walls. The last smell i experienced was rubber burning, along with my newly furnished apartment, from the street as a car sped off into the distance. But the firmiliar last sound that haunted me was the shattering of all the glass within the vicinity and the several screams that poured from the buildings occupants.

As the last of the energy left my body, leaving the effects to damage my body, i felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as darkness overtook my vision and my body began to covulse with the firmilar seizure that followed such events.

Author's Note

Your subconscience sees all

Reviews

[WayOath]

An icy wind drifted through my open window adjacent to my bed, bringing my thoughts back to focus.


wow ma you broke a barrier with this legnthy chapter. It will certainly lead into what it should. I know you ma, you have the s**t and you will lay it on the table. I wanna read more of this but energy will not allow the words to fly on the screen because right now they are traveling the speed of light and are frozen a couple of hours from now at your house on your laptop where you will soon pose the rest of chapter 3 and the words will then travel normal speed again.

love you ma. You're amazing.

( Your subconscience sees all )

true...true

[Jane Doe]

u an way oath(frand) scarrree mee :l witj the ma an pa thingie scaryyyy luv ya both though and ur writings LUVE YA WAYY OATH GERALD WAYY IS BETTEH :)LUV YA WRITIBNG LUV ME or die:)hhehehe peace (kiss kiss hug hug =])

[Jane Doe]

prettyy i read it but where is matt id ont get it:(

[ebur™]

The chapters you wrote already have me hooked onto the story :)
This story is so intriguing, interesting, and unique. Wonderful job on what you have so far :)

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

these three chapters are amazing !

[Surrealstorm]

Very interesting chapter. Let me know when the next chapter is up!

[WayOath]

Trying to come to terms with a fate that none
fate
!COPY CAT! Jk i love ma

magick
simply great

proceeded to play False Pretense by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatis
Eh he he he he I love them False Pretense is AWESOME. I love the red jumpsuit apparatus....is lol whats it matter. :)

know it sounds gay...or at least fru fru
you are so froo froo I love you

It helps to dissipate the constant energy that eats at my being. Of course. This place is only as real as the perfect guy. And for those who don't get that reference. It doesn't exist no matter how much wishing is involved.
this is true, but there is no perfect girl either...guys could debate this with you. no one is perfect ma. Remember that

Ok, I have couple things to say and since you are setting beside me you cannot read them. I love how you are elaborating on how the enery is over all affecting her. Thats helps people better understand what is going on so that they are not completely left in the dark. Which is very awesome. Cause now I feel like I know her personally...and in a way I guess I do, cause I know you and I see alot of you in her. Hatred for guys, love for certain music, actions, emotions....the way she precieves things, the way she talks the way she thinks. And I love the ending of the chapter. It totally completes the theory that when people die their energy never does and I believe thats what was going through her and your so right. It doesn't stay in the body forever, energy comes and goes. Just like it does in this chapter.
Man I am racking up the points but I have lots to say.
Anyway, I love the ending alot it was dramatic. And the trashcan part made me think....this happens alot ay? Well duh it does, if it didn't there wouldn't be a trash can there and you wouldn't have stated it and/or spoken of it. Lol. But yea, I love this ma, great visualization, imagery, metaphors,
everything mrs. english teacher says we don't have.

Way to not use informal language,
XWayOathX -Your Pa-

[Kelley]

Ok that was one of the shortest chapters I have ever read......smiles

[These Haunted Hallways]

More, more. We demand more! A good start tho haha ;)

B.A.