Cowardice

This is a rough draft of something I've been meaning to write for a very long time. All comments and suggestions welcome. :)

Cowardice

I can still see you when I close my eyes at night,

Looming there at the foot of our bed

Hurling your hurtful daggers into my heart.

I wish I could only see you in these dreaded visions,

And not hear those words cutting into me

With the stinging pain of such sharp truth.

And while the dagger that cut the deepest

Was the one upon which Coward was etched,

That was not the wound that silenced me.

For the injury most egregious of all

Can only come by my own hand

In knowing the awful shame of who I truly am.

For you to know my honest self  I cannot bear,

So I have buried it alongside my dark soul

In the grave we dug that fateful night

Using your daggers turned into spades,

My silence into the endless pit

Where my true self lays forever in my cowardice.

Author's Note

Version 2 - the second half didn't really say what I wanted.

Reviews

[Persephone]

Dark, but moving. I very much enjoyed this, invokes a lot of emotion...

[Kent Smotherman]

Thanks - and given your identity, you'll just have to ready my "Persephone Unbound" poem! :)

[Kent Smotherman]

"Persephone No More" I mean - lol, don't even know my own work!

[Dean Kuch®]

I knew a Vietnam vet once, an old Gunnery sergeant that was in charge of a particular patrol one night, operating out of a base in Chu Lai around 1965. He lost every man on that patrol, him being the only one to have escaped and returned to base camp early the following morning. He told me, "I never lost another man on any one of my numerous patrols, not after that one..." He recanted this story to me dozens of times after he'd been drinking. And, he always had this certain faraway "look" in his eyes...This, for some reason, reminds me of my old friend.
Powerful stuff...

[Kent Smotherman]

Wow, thank you - I think you comment is more powerful than my poem, truly.

[A love for poetry]

Wow, that was deep. I have felt these types of fears myself, many times, in many different situations. This is a very strong poem... I like the strength given to this reflective moment.

[Serenity Faith]

This was brilliant! Many people hide within themselves, not showing their true selves, not saying what is meant to be said. Though I do believe with this piece, you showed courage rather than cowardice. Another great write ^_^

[Kent Smotherman]

You're far too kind, Emily! You've summed this universal theme up very well. This was the hardest poem for me to write, it was a very dark time for me. I still struggle with opening up to those I love, so your words truly mean a lot to me.

[Serenity Faith]

Anytime ^_^ glad to be of help when I can. I believe many people do not know how to open up with the ones the love in fear of being hurt, but opening up even just a little for only a moment, is braver than most.

[Debbie_Philly]

No this is great... I get it and the metaphors.... hes too ashamed of what he is and not being able to open up and the shame of the eyes upon him ruined his relationship ?? Did I get it right... either way... I like it allot... it was really good !! :)

[Kent Smotherman]

You did, and thank you! :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Your very welcome !!

[MOON]

This is really introspective and you set it up so well introducing the theme , poignant flowing write. The last stanza so striking.

[Kent Smotherman]

Thanks, Moon. This was a hard one for me to write, so I really appreciate your words.

[pumpkin head]

such a deep write here, love the last stanza.
Powerful words.

[Kent Smotherman]

Thanks (again!) - the last stanza is my favorite as well. :)

[Leslie Philibert]

This is the first poem I have read by this writer, and I found a lot to enjoy, the way you introduce the subject with a real situation, and the way you work through the theme with poetic talent.Good work.

[Kent Smotherman]

Thank you so much for those kind words, Leslie.

[afra]

so sad and deep ....good job

[Kent Smotherman]

Thank you!