Poems

This is a bad poem in my opinion. I have used to concrete sense imagery in it and as such I render it here on the writers cafe.

Poems

 

        come to me

quietly.  Their voices

muttering lines I do not

 

        see- those fickle

muses.  They invade my

mind like forlorn lovers

 

       beckoning me to

be unrequited with their

ethereal quotations.

Reviews

[Emily B]

Poems
come to me
quietly.
Voices muttering
lines
I do not see.
Fickle muses
invade my mind
like forlorn lovers
beckoning me
to unrequited trysts
with ethereal quotations.

Play with the line placement.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This is a great, succinct write about the seemingly elusiveness of poetry. I like this very much. Thank you. I grew up in Marshall right down the road from you...my mother still lives there. Nice to meet a neighbor. Good write.
Light,
Siddartha

[Edward Carr]

Whatdid you mean by your critique alice? Can you give me an example with lines you quoted as to what you are talking about. The title should stay, but maybe the lines should change. I did not like this poem and put it on here. But if you could give me some examples of what you would do with the lines you quoted, I could see more what are talking about. Thanks for the constructive criticism, I need it.

[Rayne]

ahh, A breath of fresh air. Gotta love the way they speak to you...
Come,
Take your pen in hand!

[Alice]

There's some gorgeous phrases - those fickle muses, beckoning me to be unrequited etc, but I think you could do with picking these phrases and juggling them around a bit, put them in a different format with more of a concept behind it rather than just a description. Or maybe just changing the title would do the trick, because that makes it seem a little like an English teacher has asked a class to write something called "Poems" and this is the result. It would definitely be the best one in the class, probably in the school, but it still seems too much like an exercise. I do like it though, it expresses how writing a poem feels very well.