Letting The Sun Turn Grey

This poem is a bit wordy even for me and does not seem to have a point :) I wrote it a long time ago and was just writing. My serious poems I do not post anywhere because I send those to contests, but I posted this one just for kicks.

Letting the sun turn grey to

set behind this sleeping earth,

I venture out of my shell

picking huckleberries

and buckeyes off the ground.

 

Snow melts into gutters

spouting running waters

to a Chesapeake Bay and green

and blue Atlantic full of brine

and ravenous teeth set to devour

like time on these bones,

this flesh. 

 

Memories of lovers, friends, and family

fade with joy as familiar as a backyard barbecue

around a pool I was unafraid to swim in amongst

its clear waters. 

 

My heart full of you, in nettles trapped,

caught and bleeding as the lion's

jaws devour your left leg.  The

heavens turn and twist ambivalent.

My paint reaches out to touch

this vision like an insect in amber.

 

Work going undone, like my mind

slipping from reality into yesterday

and scanning a future my green eyes

cannot see.  A horizon grey and stormy

as my tantrums at a world

refusing to slow down and take notice

of death and its undertow

clawing our adolescence. 

Author's Note

I could rework this. Could chop this poem into two other poems and rework them, but like I said, my better poems only go to contests, the rest I post or let sit in my books forgotten.

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I actually really like this. There is a beautiful nostalgia to it with wonderful description. I would have to think longer about what you might want to revise. Quite honestly I like it the way it is. Very enjoyable. Great natural settings. Best of luck with your painting of this subject matter.
Light,
Siddartha

[Ray Hamilton]

Nice write I enjoyed it
Thanks for sharing
Ray { Not a Poet }

[emz]

i,m gunna put this in my general reading as i want to study it a bit more, i know what you mean about wordage and yours is very good here


x

[Invisible Ink]

this deserves a longer look and review, which i cannot give it at the moment... and the images and the meanings, i promise to return to it... when my teaching days have turned into summer days... 2 weeks!