Bleeding

I got bored and wrote this

Crying for reasons

unknown to me

All I know is that I'm hurting

Don't you hear my plea?

 

I'm aching

maybe my soul is torn

I stubbled into a garden

and pricked my finger on a thorn

 

No one is coming to stop the bleeding

As it slowly drips down my finger

Though the wound is small,

the pain seems to linger

 

So as I stand here crying

will you come to my aid?

Or am I to stay here,

alone and afriad?

 

 

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar, thanks =)

Reviews

[jumbie's #1 fan]

this was good, i like how it's simple yet effective great job

[Adrian K. Smith]

Pain is subjective, and though some may see this as whimsical piece; it illustrates quite well that we all feel what we feel differently. Many people forget this, as they go through thinking that only they know what real pain is...

[$teph@nie <3]

wow that was really pretty :)
i like it, keep it up!! :D

[Reidslovergirl92]

Its really good, I wish I can write that good.

[Cคɾเ&#..]

Wow. That was beautiful.

[Madison]

I loved this. It was touching to me, and spoke to me on differant levels. Great job :)

[Suzanne Deakins]

I love reading unusual ways of setting poetry ... bleeding on a thorn small hurt large pain and fear... this is good work, and a bit different... thanks for the review *S* Suzanne

[Melissia Ann]

A very expressive write my friend with deep emotions and beautifully written Melissia Ann

[Nely Amorim]

well well other than 2 little spelling mistakes (big deal) i found this piece to be a mature and expressive write. You really have a deep emotional store there from which you draw for your writing. I really look forward to reading much more of your work. :)

[Rob Luciano]

You say you we're bored when you wrote this. I can tell. If this piece had some more passion then it would definitely be a ten. You need to go deeper within yourself.