Goodnight

Wow..for me, I wrote this one pretty early. haha. 12am, not bad, eh? I mean the whole 12am thing..haha.

Today has come to

a silent end and we part ways,

How I wish we could stay

with each other

For all the rest of the nights

And all the rest of the days.

 

We say goodnight

With a sweet, gentle kiss,

For a split second I have forgotten

This pain and been given bliss.

 

How I wish we could

Stay like this in each others arms

And watch the night

Turn into days, turn into stars.

 

We both know that cannot be so

Because the topsy-turvy world

Has called us and said "No".

 

But tomorrow awaits

And there I know you will be,

Because we are inseparable

And because you said you would always love me.

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not exactly..too pleased about the way this poem turned out. I tried my best to express everything well..but I don't think I did a very good job. Anywho..what do You personally think of it?

Reviews

[Monty.]

I thought it was perfect! You were able to express something that nearly all can relate too yet keep it as your own. Genuine & sweet =]

[Joy C]

I can relate to this. I know how hard it is to say goodbye. I think this is a nice pice, not too straightforward... yet your feelings are well- expressed.

[Becca :)]

I think this is a good one. It says that sometimes you have to let go of something for just a little bit, but you know that you will get it back. It's really good. It can realate to a lot of different things in life. nice work. =]

[Windy]

I thought it was pretty good personally. You had good flow and rhyme, it was sad, sweet, sentimental, loving and a good ending. I think it was a good read. Keep working at it, that's what they tell me and you will just keep getting better and better. good job :)

[Adrian K. Smith]

Perhaps it is because it is almost 3:30, I have one eye closing and one wide open; but I actually looked at the form as well as the feeling. Also, I picked up a new word earlier - enjambment... and to me, this particular piece is a great example of how enjambment works... :)

[Omar]

It's so honest and it really strikes sharply at some old memories of mine. Well done :)

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Personally I think you did a superb job. You can feel the emotion when each word is read. It is well written.