The Feeling of Colors

Just something I wrote

A powerful bolt of lightning
A cool day sky.

A slow beating heart,
Or grass that flutters in the wind
then takes off and flies.

A newly made ring

A freshly polished floor,

For these are the colors,

the ones we adore.

Author's Note

I know I've got a long way to go, but this was fun.

Reviews

[Fra/c/ture]

i dont think youve got far to go at all.

this is perfectly fine, as is. i wouldnt change any lines, and thats rare for me--just read some of my usual reviews.

the only mod i would make to this would be to put the lines all together and left justify them so this reads with some rhythm. i understand your intent in how you lined it up, but i think it might hold more water in standard format.


if this is just a quick write, its quite impressive.

[Hannah!]

I like this poem a lot. It seems fine the way it is--my only complaint was that there was not a definite sense of rhythm. It was really beautiful, though; I liked it a lot.

[emmajoy]

You have it already... this poem is so very fine. You really have a way with words, make them speak from the 'page' and touch the reader.

I'm still learning (and how!) but I think it's best to experiment, try different styles, challenge self but search for what's comfortable. I read other people's poetry/prose and, when I find pieces I particularly like/enjoy/admire, I ask myself why... that helps in discovering things about self.

Enjoy being in wc.org.. make it pleasure, never work.

I really look forward to reading more of your posts. Luck. Smile.

[Jo Anna Bella]

Simple but smart. Like an painting, it pulls the observer in, to think of his/her own remembrances, preferences, experiences with color.