Moonlight Dance

Do you hear the chants,

of that moonlight dance,

those bestial roars,

and faces gaunt

 

the moonlight shines,

on that crimson wine,

where wicked beasts,

love to dine

 

no one dares,

to break the throng,

when they hear those beasts,

as they sing along

 

merrymaking fiends from hell,

and their demon offspring,

roar and yell,

your souls they seek to sell

 

that crimson wine,

reflects the light,

wise mortals flee,

from that sight

 

knowing that the fruitful taste,

will more than suffice,

to darken the soul,

and the devil take you whole

 

those hapless fools,

who dare to join,

that horde of beasts,

with bestial loins

 

the wine it floweth,

as slick as blood,

unholy trick,

or evil flood?

 

 

Your thirst it will slake

And soul it shall take.

Reviews

[Jeyanthi]

This poem relates to me in a way of "drunken addiction "... the beast comes and you dare to go or do anything...then it pacifies you with drink.... but the thirst just increases with every sip...
The poem written nicely and rhymes well...
I don't know what's with rhyme,
Maybe that's how we must write
and shine. 😊
Sometimes our flow of thoughts overtakes the words..what to do 😅...
This poem is inspiring..

[Twilight]

Those are quite thoughtful comments, Jeyanthi. I know that the desire to write, is in your blood too. You remain welcome to send me "read requests".

[Jeyanthi]

Thank you 😊 🙏

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I like the overall feel of the poem, the wording, and intent. I think what makes it difficult to read in certain spots is the slipstream from one rhyme scheme to the next from one stanza to the next. Consistency in rhyme and meter would go a long way towards improving the fluidity of this poem.

The greatest piece of advice that I ever received from anyone when I first started writing was to use rhyme and meter. It's a challenge at times; but one which, when properly used, can really make a poem shine.

Keep shining!

Linda Marie

[Twilight]

Another very detailed and insightful review, Linda. Thanks, and keep writing..! It's in our blood.!

[Angelic Darkness]

I do love this darkness, and it rhymed very graceful and flowing.
The whole poem is strong and provoking of a higher, darker power.
Wonderful! AD

[Wycked]

I really enjoyed this poem, great imagery, I could envision dancing around under the moon .... there were only two spots that I felt were a hair off (and of course this is only a suggestion ) you know what image you are trying to project

Do you hear the chants,
of that moonlight dance,
those bestial roars,
and faces gaunt

the moonlight shines,
on that crimson wine,
where wicked beasts,
love to Haunt (dine) ============for some reason i feel Haunt should be used instead of dine

the other verse I felt was a hair off ...

merrymaking fiends from hell,
and their demon offspring,
roar and yell,
your souls they seek to sell (bespell in stead of sell) or something that fits offspring....(Im not sure)...I cannot tell you exactly what ...I write from feeling how harmonious if feels...which i know is not what everyone intends....so these are only suggestions....my aim is not to offend but to be a tool ..:O)

~Wycked~

[Twilight]

Thanks for the great review, and constructive criticism! Keep writing too, and I accept "read requests" on this website.