The Forest Glade

In the shade,

of that forest glade,

no sun can reach,

it's where I teach

 

my love is true,

only for you,

even when,

I think of them

 

those lovers past,

never lasted long,

with their memories,

I sing this song

 

an ode to you,

which I hold dear,

every time,

you pull me near

 

in the shade,

of that forest glade,

my lust for you,

will never fade

 

your radiant smile,

and hair it shines,

with teeth like pearls,

your thoughts sublime

 

the love and kisses,

you share with me,

in the shade,

of that forest glade,

never will they fade.

Reviews

[KonxOmPax]

I like this poem. The rhyme and ideas are pretty simple but that doesn't mean they don't portray something more complex. I agree a bit with the previous reviewer on the subject of rhymes and I think that you do not always have to rhyme words that produce the same sounds. For instance, I think the line that says: 'with teeth like pearls, your thoughts sublime' has a good rhthymic quality to it and brings out more of the essential feeling behind the poem.

[Lydia Blackwell]

this is a nice sonnet. My fav. line is:
an ode to you,
which I hold dear,
every time,
you pull me near

the sweetness of this poem lasts. I like it.

[Rachel Koepke]

lke it..love it...u rock...my fav line was.. "your radiant smile and hair it shines with teeth like pearls your thoughts sublime

[Penny Dreadful]

this describes well the story of long lost love.

well done.

xxx

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

I love the thought of gladedness, and its intimate intricacies, great write! ----mishel

[Nik Dendera]

The first stanza is perfect.

Nice flow and some great visuals; this is more prose than anything else. Which suits the pattern of words. If that makes sense.

Can't really say much about this (in a good way); its simple and effective.

[Angelic Darkness]

This has a mystical feel. When I write, my work is
what many have said is free form. I don't worry much
about that. Just the feel of my emotions and energy shining
through for others to feel.

With that, you do rhyme your words, but I feel
that trying to make words fit perfectly like that it
somehow loses the meaning and feeling of the poem.

In the very first stanzas: In the shade,

of that forest glade,

no sun can reach,

it's where I teach

reach, teach, yes they rhymed, but I feel
that they didn't hold the rest of the poem together, like
had no meaning for the love you were trying to portray
through the poem. I understand we all write differently,
and I respect that, but this is my opinion, so I am pointing
that out to you. AD

[Amaunet]

Beautiful! A truly magnificent peice. It is a perfect capture of the desire we all feel. Not for just lust, but for love. My favorite verses (there are two) of the peice are these:

in the shade,

of that forest glade,

my lust for you,

will never fade


And:

the love and kisses,

you share with me,

in the shade,

of that forest glade,

never will they fade.


SO beautiful!

[Ladysue]

Twilight I loved this. It has a very gentle and natural tone. It speaks with much passion! Simply exquisite!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

That was beautiful in it's own naked, emotional way. I love the style and words that you used... you have created such a great image with this.