Crystal Sea

Crystal Sea

A Poem by Twilight

Please take me,

To that crystal sea,

Where your arms,

Welcome me

 

In joyous praise,

I long to give,

So much love,

As you once did

 

Your waves wash,

From sea to shore,

It is only you,

That I adore

 

In you alone,

I place my trust,

A love to keep,

In the ocean deep.

© 2008 Twilight


Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Featured Review

I like the flow of this but it feels like the start of something..... like there is more to come?

I would almost add a complete change of pace, an ending perhaps, but thats just my thought.... It is always a compliment when you inspire other writers to write, so well done honey.

"For then you came....

You tore at me until I broke,
Lashed at my heart and made it choke.
In your sodden arms I cried,
....You squeezed at me until I died".

Mx

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Thank you, Julian, for allowing me to see the ghosts of Chistmases past, as it were.

Beauty and Wonder are in your words.

G.

Posted 11 Hours Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is beautiful and lovley. I like the way it was arranged and it was joyously wounderful. I like it!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Congratulations Julian on your achievement with this delicate poem. I wish I had reviewed it sooner- when I was pondering across this site in secret after leaving. The images are so vivid and crisp; clear like the flow of water trickling down a ink stained page. The water submerged these words together angelically! Well done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this it's wonderful
and beautiful

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I Think this flows so nicely! I like the short lines and to me it doesn't seem like it needs to be long and drawn out. Its short and sweet with a good rhythm that makes it memorable. Great write!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a beautiful flowing tale, of a painful but free love. Sweet and kind. i really liked this piece a beautiful write

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this piece very soft with a romantic feel. The words seem to float on the page. Very beautifully written. It flows really well. Well done.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this piece imagery is well done and flow is perfect... overall a very well done write.... rhyme was good in this too..fav lines...Your waves wash,

From sea to shore,.......... this part was breath taking to me....

It is only you,

That I adore


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see you got mixed reviews on this one. And while normally I only give you my personal opinion, I feel I must also look at the reviews as well, in hopes that it helps.

Yes the lines are short, but it keeps one's eyes moving through the poem. Not all poems are ment to be lengthy, some stand magnificent just as asort bursts. As I think this one does. Also contrary to another thing, the change of your rhyme doesn't throw me off balance, it shows both versitility and flexibility.

Poetry, at least for me, is not rigid and unchanging. It's free flowing and ever changing. Just as life and people are ever changing.

For me your subtle changes are viewed as a metephore to just how changable life and circumstances are.

Good... No Ecellent Job!

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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13 Reviews
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Added on November 9, 2008
Last Updated on November 9, 2008

Author

Twilight
Twilight

Belper, Derbyshire, United Kingdom



About
My first name is Julian. I'm a white male, straight, English and 51 years old. My email address is [email protected]. Writing is just an interest to me. My favourite writers include H. P.. more..

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