Word and the Five Senses

Word = Thought = Stimulation

Sight, Sound, Taste, Smell, Touch

 

Blue skies.

 

Clap of thunder.

 

Peaches sweet and juicy.

 

Skin glistening with sweat.

 

Lips soft, sensual, and full

 

Beneath the blue skies we lay;

In the distance is the clap of thunder.

We continue to feed each other the peaches, sweet and juicy.

Our skin glistens with sweat from the mounting passion,

Your lips – soft, sensual, and full – touch my lips.

We unite in a fusion of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch.

And new words, thoughts, and stimulation are born,

Bringing forth a kaleidoscope of colors.

 

TD  7.03.2007

 

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is a great piece. I love that it is seductive and sensual but not vulgar or disgusting. I also loved the way you used imagery as passion Exploding as sights and sounds. Great write.
Debby

[Annabelle]

this was wonderful...it was sensual but tasteful ...good job

[Jennifer]

Wow. This was great. I agree woth Debra about it being seductive but not vulgar. I really could see the vivid imagery that you used. Felt the passion. Loved it. jen

[Mel Smith]

You create amazing imagery with your words. I can see the peach juice dripping off their chin, the sweat beading up on their shoulders. You can even experience the explosion of ecstasy when they touch. I can see this poem as I would see a picture and I can feel the emotions from the words.

The critical side of me struggled with the flow. A few of the sentences don't seem as smooth as they could be ... it's just a few words in each one that could be removed or changed. line 7 (is, the), line 8 (the), and line 9 (the). I also feel a stop and go sensation when I end one line and begin the next. I�m obviously not a poet or a critic. There is just something missing in the transitional flow of each line.

I hope my thoughts help. It�s a pet peeve of mine to just get praise on my writing. I like critical feedback too. I like to know how I can make my writing better.

Mel
Falconer28

[* Mourning Starr *]

Very beautifully written piece my Irish sister......P.S thank you so much for your support of me and my work it means alot to me.....

[Lydia Breakfast]

Gotta love those peaches. The most sensual fruit brought vividly to life here and I especially enjoyed this line:
New words, thoughts, and stimulation are born
as if a peach was responsible for a birthing.
Good work.

[Jeff "jazzman"..]

This was a very clever write, I really enjoyed this piece, well done!

[Helen Woodward]

It is a kaleidoscope of vivid colour! It is also filled with romantic notion and ideals, how wonderful to be able to put things into perspective for your reader. You have lovingly created a scene of exquisite tenderness.
A well-written piece by a sensitive writer.

[Natalie C]

Wow TD, I always seem to enjoy reading your work. It is filled with such vivid imagery, that really does tease the senses (If I am allowed to say that)

Love the way you used the different colors in the beginning, to set the whole scene for the rest of the piece and I must applaud you on your closing line.

New words, thoughts, and stimulation are born,
Bringing forth a kaleidoscope of vivid color.

It brings the whole piece together.
Excellent write, really loved it!

[James K. Blaylock]

very nice read. love that ending. keep up the great writes.

Bringing forth a kaleidoscope of vivd color.