How 'NOT TO OVERCOME STAGE-FEAR'

A student failed trial to overcome stage fear.

How 'NOT TO OVERCOME STAGE-FEAR'

Nov 1st, 2018

I was around 10-11 years old, class V.

Like every school, our school also had the same routine of morning prayer session followed by some students coming forward to recite the pledge, shlokas, solo song/group song, news reading etc.

These activities are coordinated by activity houses of the school on a weekly or a bi-weekly basis.

Our school had 4 houses Sivaji, Raman, Tagore, and Asoka.

Basically, every house had a strength of 1/4th of the total students which was lead by a group of 10-15 students which was further lead by teachers. Teachers used to choose their 10-15 students on the criteria of their own. Rest all were just numbers.

I was also a number

I was always fascinated by these 10-15 students and wanted to be a part of one of these but I knew my mind was only strong enough to take my body until the stage and after that, it would disappear like anything and my body then, would not be ready for this and I had no idea how it will respond in that situation.

The best part is I know this behavior of mine, so I was more strong in not putting myself into this situation than to put myself in there to Face it.

One day I realized this has to go which is only possible when I would put myself in that situation. This would result in either I emerging as a confident one or I becoming the embarrassing one.

Another house meeting was lined up on Wednesday morning, and the teachers were very well prepared to do the formality on the activities assignment.

One of the head teachers of the Asoka house asked ‘Kisi ko kuch karna hai to hath uthao’, and nobody expected a new hand this time. It was I.

The teacher called me straight away and asked ‘Bolo beta kya karoge’ like seriously, I was not prepared for this situation. I was prepared for the activity which was left out and then I would decide I can do this or not, but not this one where I have to choose what I can do and I can’t. I know I can’t do anything. So, it was very difficult to choose from nothing.

‘Gana gaoge’ Teacher asked me again, I looked straight in her eyes and confidently said what I was confident in saying which is a ‘NO’.

‘Om jai jagdish hare’ ga sakta hu main wo bhi yahi 4 words, I thought in my mind.

Aur main Sarfaraz Usmani thodi hun jab bolo gana gao tabhi shuru ho jao.

‘Phir kya karoge’ she asked again, this time she was in no mood to entertain a ‘NO’ again

so I said ‘News padhunga mam’, and I smiled like how can this go wrong.

4 line likh ke le jani hai aur wo bhi dekh ke padhni hai. Yes, this seems a good decision.

She said alright and noted my name. She noted another few names for some more

activities and group house meeting closed.

I was going home smiling and suddenly realized, News padhni hai to thk hai but padhni kab

hai? they have not given any schedule to me. Like how about they want me to read

tomorrow?

Now, this is a real dilemma.

A situation created by me has no idea when I am going to face it. Every day is a

preparation day now, like what happens if I go tomorrow morning and ask: is it today I have

to read the news and they said yes, then I have to be ready?

Somehow, I managed and realized I can’t take holidays from school to an indefinite period

so I have to prepare.

Next day I noted some of the news from each page and kept that paper in my pocket, left

for school.

I was the only one who was motivating myself as nobody else knew I was going to read the

news today. And I was very much nervous right from the time I left from home. The time

was running fast like it also wanted to see me performing poor.

I was on stage with other 15 members, and everyone started daily prayers. And I was the

only person who was murmuring news while praying.

Prayer finished, the head person started carrying forward the ceremony and announced

‘Ab pledge’,

Another few minutes I have to wait.

He then announced ‘Ab news’

The time had come for which I was preparing myself from last one day. And I was about to

take a big breath with a step towards the mike then suddenly another student ran towards

the mike and read the news. S**t…

I was in shock as I think I prepared well and I wanted to face this.

I was sad too but after a while, I was happy as nobody knew I also

prepared for the news.

All day no teacher came to me and I didn’t go to them as well to ask when I was scheduled

for my news reading, as frankly, I didn't want to put the same efforts again. And I thought

the house teacher must have cut my name and they have all done just a formality with me.

So, I got relaxed and forgot what has happened in last one day.

Next day, I joined the stage again with 15 members for the sake of continuity.

Prayer finished, the head student announced ‘Pledge time’

Pledge finished.

Then he announces ‘News reading’:

10 seconds passed 30 seconds passed no one came forward.

Then suddenly one teacher came to me and said ‘Tushir tumhara news day hai na aaj’

Kya??

I was afraid to say NO and back out, not sure afraid of what, as I was not planning to come

on stage in future ever again anyhow.

I said yes, ‘Ja rha hu mam’ searched my pocket for the news I wrote a day before and

luckily It was there else I have to create news that day. Imagine a 5th class under confident

student creating news who never read the newspaper.

‘I went straight to the mike, read that one-day-old news and came back to my position.’

The worst part was, after all this effort which I was categorizing as 'tremendous', I was

expecting all students to clap on my ‘News reading’ where news was one-day old.

News reading ke baad kon taali bajata hai?

I never went On-stage again.... until my B. Tech English teacher forced me to give a

presentation on a random topic.

I made a blunder there as well………

Author's Note

Any comments would be appreciated.