Ice-cream

Once upon a time,their was a girl called Colly. She is a poor girl and she lived by herself.

 

One day,she pass through street and saw someone is eating ice-cream,then,she went to the ice-cream store and just watch the ice-cream,because she wants to eat but no money,then have a girl said"You want t eat ice-cream?' Colly said" Yes! But I have no money!'' then the girl said'Ok! I will buy for you! But can we do friends?' Colly said" Ok! I want to have friends for long time ago!"Then they do friends forever.

 

At last,Colly be a rich girl,because the girl give some money to Colly!

 

Reviews

[Vanessa Hui]

I think some of your sentences are not fluency enough.