Changes

We never change do we?

I want to throw my hands up in disbelief. But of course it's Santi. Who would've thought he still knew where I lived. Simon walks up behind me, sensing there's an unwanted presence. Santi: Um, hey. Can I talk to you? Alone?" Me: "About what?" I'm already impatient with him.

Santi: "I just want to apologize and explain myself and for everything I've done." Simon strokes my back as to let him in. He sure does love drama, it makes me mad but it makes me want to laugh at the same time because I know he's going to make fun of me later on. Me and Santi walk into my room and I close my door. We sit for a while, I'm getting really bored and Santi seems to get more nervous.

"So what do you want?" I finally say. Santi: "Look I really want to say sorry for the way I treated you and for pushing you away." Me: "If you were really sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place." Santi: "I know but there's a reason why I did it." Me: "And why is that?"

Santi: "I slept with one of my friends that I use to have friends with benefits before I met you. I knew it'd be worse to tell you the truth than to just suddenly break up with you and make it seem like I was a jerk. But it's been really hard. I always think about you because I still love you and I always want to be with you and you can't believe how hard it was for me to not want to be with you again." Me: "I really don't get this. You always do this. When s**t isn't going right in your life you always come to me saying that you miss me and need me. I gave you two chances and you blew both of them. Threes a charm and it's a charm because I'm not doing it this time."

He's starting to tear up and it's becoming harder to believe he wants to do right. He's never cried physically in front of me before, but I refuse to believe him. Santi: "I want to make up for all the things I've done to you, I want to treat you the way you deserve." Me: "I don't want to take that risk though Santi because I know you, if you don't follow through and if you don't care for me then you won't care that you've hurt me for the third time and you will never believe what kind of effect that'll have on me. I'm not doing it again because the risk is too great. The last f*****g time you became a d****e and left me I almost didn't make it. It took everything within me to let you go. I still haven't fully let you go but I'm not trying to win you back. Your past and the way you treated me is biting you in the a*s now and you know what, I love it." By this time he's silently crying and I don't care, but I do.