Loser

I'm surrounded by them.

Erica: Ok so her letter starts with s[sorry Stace] but that's as far as I go. QT: Ok.. continue. Erica: She was telling me about how the older guy she met, came over to her house and they had a great time together... and she almost lost her virginity to him. QT's eyes widen and he says like he can't believe it: Really?! Why almost? Erica: Her mmm... dad came home and he had to sneak out the window. QT: Wow, so what next? Erica: Well that was Friday, then Monday came and she went to his office to surprise him and it turned out, he had a girlfriend. QT: Damn that's deep.

Erica: Yeah so I was helping her and talked to her because she didn't know what to do. I feel bad because she really liked him. QT: Now is it... Stacey? I don't say anything. QT gets the hint and he changes the subject. We head back to his house and I spend the night. We hang out half of Saturday but I leave around 5, my mom is making me come home to clean so she can be with her boyfriend or who ever which means I have to be out of the house by 10and go to someone's house but I can't go back over QT's, great. 9:54 roles around and I go for a ride. As soon as I close the door I hear my mom coming in through the garage giggling along with a grown man's voice. I ride over to Central Park it's the best park in the world.

It's where I met QT and Michael. It's where I broke up with Ted. It's where I had my first kiss, had my first boyfriend, everything. Only good things happen here and I hope it stays like that. It's a bonus that there's a huge field where I can lay in the grass. I open my sweater up and spread it down. I lay on it and remember that it was the first love of my life's sweater. Thomas. We were so young then. I was 8 and he was 10. We would have been together now, but he had to move. He was a very tall ten year old, it makes me wonder if he were really ten. I laugh to myself. When I put the sweater on it still goes past my butt. Guess I'M just short. I close my eyes and remember the day he left me. I use to cry every time I thought about it but now I'm just numb.

I feel footsteps come and lay down next to me. I open my eyes, turn to see Mr. Depp next to me and I groan and sigh and say: What are you, following me? With an attitude. Mr. Depp: No, I just like coming here, I like to think here. Erica: K good, that means no talking and I'd really like to not hear your mouth. Mr. Depp: Ouch. He closes his eyes, I close mine too. Mr. Depp: We should talk. Erica: If you're going to think out loud I'm going to leave. Mr. Depp: You can do what you want Ms. Jenn, no one's stopping you, this is a public park. I roll my eyes and walk over to the swings. I close my eyes, very joyful but upset when I get a text.

It reads: If you don't answer this I'm going to keep texting you until you do. I reply: Ugh what do you want?

John: I want you. I need you. At first I thought that you and me were just going to be a fling, but once when you stopped everything you had with me, I just
John: kept thinking about you. I can't stop.
Erica: Bull sh*t. If that were the case you wouldn't have been with me, you would have told me everything.
John: Look that was all just a misunderstanding.
Erica: Oh yeah well explain it to me because I'm rather confused.
John: I know I should have told you, but I already thought we were over. Me and her had an argument a while back and stopped talking.
Erica: Still, that doesn't mean anything. I'd figure you'd know what communication meant. I would have respected you more if you just told me.
John: I didn't have time to.
Erica: You had plenty of time. Like before you almost f*cked me.
John: I wouldn't call it that.
Erica: Oh yeah what's it called because the last time I heard when a man gets a hard on he wants to f*ck.
John: I don't "f**k" I make love. Only to you... Look, my whole life I've never felt the way I feel about you.
Erica: Well you know what, I'll believe it when you say it to my face. Don't text back until then.