The Remembered Tragedy

Santi: "I was talking to this girl and she was saying how she's scared to trust men because she was raped and they made her do things... when you were... you know... did they try and make you do stuff?" Me: "No not really... I mean not that anyways."

If you don't know, that's code for did I ever have to forcefully give a bj and take sperm... yeah he's like that.

Santi: "Well good because I wouldn't even look at you if they did." He pushes me and smiles. I smile back faintly. Santi: "I just don't understand it I mean yeah you were abused but, you gotta let things go." Me: "Well you'll never really understand until it happens to you." Santi: "Well I don't think it's a big deal, you just have to move on from the past." Me: "Yeah well you're still not getting off into my mouth so deal with it." Santi: "Why I don't get it, why should I pay for someone else's mistake." Me: " I just... still wouldn't feel comfortable doing that." Santi: "Oh come on, that's not fair, it happened a long time ago, what does it matter." Me: "It matters a lot, it's hard for me." Santi: "That's so selfish of you, doing that is showing someone that you care for them personally, it's a beautiful thing." Me: "What does it matter Santi, it's not like you're going down on me, I don't even like that either." Santi: "Well f**k you, you're just selfish."

He storms off and slams the door behind him... it use to never be this bad.