Start Again?

Can I?

Most girls would smile and cheer and hug their new lover but not me. Even though I've known Simon for so long, I still don't know him inside out, which scares me. I get up and just stare off into space. I don't want to get hurt again and I mean yeah it's a great risk, but every time I get hurt, it's life changing. Every time my heart breaks I no longer become hungry, I start to drink too much water, substituting food, I hang out with friends but I completely shut down.

It doesn't help that I'm the greatest pretender you'll ever meet, I'll seem my happiest, but once when I get home I'll cry for hours, cry myself to sleep. It's becoming harder to fake smile every day.

Simon gets up too. I grow heavily distant by spirit and I know he can feel that. Simon turns my face towards him. Simon: "What's wrong?" Me: "I just... how is this going to work between us because I mean, what's Garett going to think, how are we suppose to be together when you're so far away, you have family down there, not here. How would we work?"

Simon: "If we're there for each other it's going to work." Me: "I don't know." I sigh, trying to hold in my tears but every second becomes tougher because I keep remembering and I don't know what my future holds.