Perfect Timing

No surprise

I put on a big t that goes to my knees while Simon puts his boxers back on and goes under the sheets. I open the door pretending to just wake up. DB whispers saying, "Sorry to wake you but it's cold and I need another blanket." Me: "Did you check the closet?" DB: "Yes there's none in there." Me: "K hold on."

I go and get DB a blanket and do my usual tuck in little DB. For what ever reason he likes it when I tuck him in, it's rather cute. I say good night and head back to my room. Simon's at the edge of the bed with his head down rubbing his head.

I lightly close the door, walk over to him and start to brush his hair with my fingers. He looks up at me and makes me sit on his thigh. Simon: "Hi." He sounds falsely energetic, I can tell something is on his mind. We become silent until Simon decides to break the ice by being straight forward.

Simon: "How come you haven't found anyone yet?" I don't want to answer, not at all but I push myself to. Me: "Scared, tired of being hurt. I mean if I fall in love I fall in love, but it's just the not knowing that the other person feels the same way as I do you know? Because I mean my last relationship I couldn't handle all the silence.

Actions speak louder than words, but only action can be followed by words. I just want someone to have that whole open communication thing, I need someone who loves me enough to share their deepest fears, what they think about me, because I thrive on that. And I mean yeah I understand guys don't share their feelings, that's why I never push and I never ask for too much, I'd just want it to be balanced because to me, nothing says more than anything when you tell me why you love me.

And don't get me wrong it's good to show it by taking the person out and what ever, but all money is is paper, it can burn, tear, thoughts can't you know? I'm going to stop talking now. Sorry." Simon: "No, it's ok, I'm listening."

I know he's a great listener, but who wants to listen to a girl talk about the same stupid insecurity problems. We're staring so far into each others eyes it's like we can see what's behind our heads. Simon: "Abby." Me: "Yeah?"

I have a feeling he's going to say what I don't want him to say. I start to get a flash back of when Santi first told me he loved me. Even though we're not together it was a great memory. He did it randomly and I just couldn't believe it. I see him treating me how I've always wanted to be treated, he was perfect. But then I see him turning into someone I hate, never want to be with and I think of the day he broke up with me.

Simon: "I want to tell you something but it's hard because I'm scared and it's even worse because I feel like you don't want me to tell you." How does he do that? It's like he's the inner me. I just stare at him and I see this little boy as if he's afraid of the dark, all alone, completely surrounded and annihilated into the mouth of the enemy.

Simon: "I didn't just come here to visit and get away from the world, I came to tell you that I love you and I'm in love with you and being away from you, made me different, especially after that night we kissed and I know I blew you off basically but, you were leaving and I didn't want to suffer, now I just want to love you."