BOOM

 

The bushy leaves seemed to thicken more and more as they flew deeper into the wood. It smelled of pine and maple. Nothing excited Lula's senses more than the breeze that coated her in nature's fragrance. She dove in and out of thick branches that jumped out at her every so often. Greg was a few yards in front, easily gliding through the wood as if he could do it blind folded. Lula was most certainly impressed by Greg's speed, but she didn't like how she was being ignored. Every time she thought of this she had a strange feeling that she was lost and had no sense of direction. He was bringing a princess on a dangerous scour and had no intention of keeping her safe.

 

"What a jerk." Lula whispered to herself. She didn't want to complain though. She didn't want him to think she was weak. No, that was the last thing she wanted. Greg suddenly stopped and perched himself on a branch. Lula stood next to him out of breathe. He tilted his head up surveying the treetops then down at the bushy green below. He had a glint of determination in his eyes. 

 

"There are five grubs below us. See that brown patch there next to the blueberry bush?" Greg asked pointing his wing towards the push. Lula found it easily and nodded her head. "I want you to dive down to that patch and grab as many grubs as you can." Lula tilted forward, focusing her eyes on the patch, and plunged down. But before she left the branch Greg grabbed her. "You're doing it wrong. Haven't you remembered anything from your trainings?" 

 

"It's been years since I've trained. And what's the difference anyway? You dive down, get the grubs, and come back up. How hard could it be?" Greg rolled his eyes and took Lula's wing in his own.

 

"You slant this wing inward and the other outward. You don't just dive straight down. You can hurt yourself." Lula quickly took her wing back and gave him a nasty look.

 

"I know what I'm doing! That's just the way I start my dive." Lula squawked.

 

"Stop with the nonsense. Dive how I taught you to dive." Greg squawked impatiently. Lula saw his face bubble with anger. He got angry over the slightest things. Lula was always nervous around him when he got like this. He tried to control his rage, but she could still sense it. She crouched down tilting slightly to the right. Her beak tilted as well, just as she was taught, and dove down as fast as she could. The warm wind turned an ice cold as she turned herself into a torpedo. Her claws caught the cold dirt patch digging furiously at the soil. A fat pale grub popped up almost instantly. She pecked her beak at the soil grabbing the wiggly feast. Before she knew it she had seven grubs squirming in her beak.  

 

Greg had a wide grin when she turned around with her beak full of grubs. His grin faded when a loud gun shot was belted close by. He gestured her to stay quite and to follow him. She obeyed flying with one wing while the other kept her from losing the grubs. They flew into a near by opening where a family once lived, but was now abandon. The walls were covered in ants and the floor as well. They didn't like the crows’ presence, but they would have to deal with it because the gunmen were approaching. There were two of them. One ran by the dome with her hair skimming against the tree. Lula shivered and almost squeaked, but Greg caught her beak before she could. The other was man. He was scruffy and looked like he didn't want the little girl with him. Greg felt sudden sympathy for the man. They were speaking human which was nowhere near understandable to crows. They left as fast as they came. Greg took his wing off my beak and turned to me.

 

"I'm going to see if there are any others. Okay? I don't want you to ever leave this dome when I'm gone." Greg squawked and almost instantly flew out the opening. The ants were crawling all over Lula and she hated it. She swiped them off with her wings a few times, but they kept on crawling up her legs and into her feathers. They were very uncomfortable and her promise to Greg was slowly slipping her mind.

 

"I've had it!" She screeched zooming out the opening. 

 

BOOM. A gunshot roared hitting Lula's perfectly carved wing. She had no time to yelp in pain. She was still in shock. Lula hit the cold green floor with a thud. She could barely move and her wing was mingled and bloody. She squawked for Greg, but he was too far off. The wind was knocked out of her. Her lungs were gasping for breath. She had never been in so much agony. Eventually she stumbled to her feet and dragged herself to a small mound of lush grass and planted herself upon it to rest. The pain seemed to never die down.  

 

Hours past and she became exhausted from her ruthless pain and went into a deep slumber. She didn't know what would become of her tomorrow.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I have my party today and this was all I could get to before it started.
I'll be back to finish the rest!

Reviews

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

I have read all of it so far. Again, you are writing excellent stuff. This is quite smooth in its grammatical style. The story seems, essentially, to be an animal fantasy novel. There are not a huge amount of books based around these ideas, so it is a good genre to hit upon. Really, I love what you are writing here. It is is entertaining and has the sense of a 'classic' or 'traditional' grand storyline within it. This one I would definitely persevere with. Please, keep at the writing of this one when you can find the time. Finally, I would love to feature some of your work on my own website ( www.noahidebooks.com ), which I want to feature some of the new up and coming writers. You have undoubtedly got talent and, one day, when Noahide Books is established with a strong selling market, I think your books will sell well. I offer all of my books free to read in full online, but also offer paperback versions for sale for those people who become fans. The sad truth is that today, in the ultra competitive world of fiction book sales, were we not only have to compete with all the new emerging talent, but centuries worth of established books which will continue to sell forever (for example Tolkien, CS Lewis and so many others, are books whose authors are dead, but will now sell on permanently. Because of this, major book publishers really don't need that much in the way of new talent, and can simply go on marketing the old 'established bestseller' books to a market which has always got new readers for those books anyway? Do you see what I mean?) Because of this, the market for new authors is extremely competitive and very hard to get published on. My idea with Noahide Books is this: Offer all of the books for FREE ONLINE. When people know it will not cost them a cent to read the books online whenever they want, they will more likely read your books for free (if they like them) than pay money for other books. And if they really like them - which is what I am ultimately counting on - they may eventually want to buy them and own them for themselves. So I think, with the nice gesture of giving something for free in the first place, a blessing will come later and good success will eventually come. Email me if you would like your work featured, as I would love to add you to the writers list for Noahide Books. Ok. Daniel

[Mintwhiskers]

i enjoyed that great excellent writing keep writing

[Jam]

very nice.... waiting for the next chapter :)

[Mariana Silva]

You went into first person when the crow is hiding from the people. Also, its good story so far, might want to get a beta reader to get consistent help editing since it does help to get someone to focus on the grammar while you focus on the plot.

[Scott H.]

I really enjoyed this. It took me a minute to realize they were birds at first, the title made me think foxes :P I like how you have the animals characterized. They really don't read as animals, they read as characters, and that is a very good thing. Also, the part where Lula gets shot is very surprising. The transitions between the previous part and this event is sudden and written very well. I look forward to reading more.

[alternative_be]

I was looking forward to this chapter, and now I have finally some time to read it!
Like I said before, I like the Lula character because she is daring and stubborn, yet a little bit too stubborn for her own good...
I wonder what will become of her. The end keeps us in suspense ...
About the chapter as a whole, sometimes my attention drifted away while reading, but this can be because I feel a little bit sick. I will read it again and add it to my reading list for sure!