This was a good, very intriguing poem. It seems like you're speaking to something inside yourself.
I only had one little criticism;
"Now you plead,
You think I should,
Save you now,
As if I would."
You could perhaps put question marks on the first and third lines...this might slow the stanza down and would make a good ending of it.
Now you plead?
You think I should,
Save you now?
As if I would.
Just a suggestion. Sorry if I wasn't very critical.
WoW !!!
You have such talent for writing lines like that !!!
WoW !!!
I am so impressed indeed !!!
WoW !!!
You don't need my help at all !!!
You're al'right by yourself !!!
WoW !!!
Hi all I dont like writing about myself so I will be brief. I am 16 and I live in Fallbrook Ca.
How much more brief can you get?
I have some songs I like on here:
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