You guys have scott to thank for this piece. i asked him to give me a random subject to write on, and he said falling. I changed the idea a little and here is the out come. Took me 30 mins, cause I just couldn't stop writing. Enjoy!
He was free! David felt the wind flying through his hair as his glider picked up endless currents of wind. He laughed at the adrenaline pumped through his veins. Although hang gliding was a dangerous sport, it was his favorite. It let him escape the pain and grief that accompanied his everyday life. This time however he was not gliding for fun. He was a killer. Not for fun or for revenge but because years ago he had been offered a thousand dollars for the assassination of an evil world leader. He had done it. Since he had trained in the marines and was very fit, it had not been much of a problem. Then they had threatened to turn him in if he wouldn't do it again for them, and he had no choice. The majority of those he killed were despicable men, but every once in a while he would be called on to kill someone innocent, sometimes even someone he knew and admired. He did it each time. He only hoped that those he had killed that deserved to die would outweigh those innocents he killed. No, not hoped, wished.
Right now he was on his way to make one of those kills. The one he was to kill was one of the greatest men in the history of the world. And a personal friend. He would never kill this man. He had told that to himself a thousand times. It was no longer about him getting turned in. He would kill himself if he could. But he couldn't. He would never do anything to harm himself. One day twenty years ago he had been given a blessing. No one could ever do harm to him purposefully, and he could not cause any harm to himself, no matter how much he wanted too. He could not even step out into the middle of the street to get hit by a car. It was a blessing and a curse. Because of this and the fact that he could not let any harm come to him, he had to kill his friend. His "employers" had threatened him and they had found it worked surprisingly well.
He had wept about his curse. He had tried thousands of ways to get around it. But nothing worked. Always someone could not make themselves hurt him. This was one reason he loved hang gliding. If somehow one of the wings got broken or such, he could be free of this curse. He could be free of this world. However, he knew it could never be. He had hang glided assiduously, but never once had anything happened to him. His troubles enervated him but unfortunately he still found the strength to carry out his deeds. He carried a long knife unsheathed hanging from a long cord around his neck. He carried it not for safety, but for assassinations and hopefully, in case he somehow fell on it one day. Not likely, but there wasn't much other chance. He wished he could be free, but he knew he never could. He never would.
That was when his course intersected that of a Jumbo Jet. He was as a fly to a cannon. The Jet was not hindered and noticed nothing, if it could be said to notice anything, but the hundreds of screaming people inside did. After all its not everyday you get outside window decorations on a long and boring flight. It appears all his worries are over, but are they?
Ha ha wow, glad I inspired such a great piece of work.
I didn't see much in the way of grammar problems--no, not anything. Those things slip past my eye anyway. What I'd like to see is having this story elongated a little more--you explain a lot in a little amount of time. Maybe you could make one scene before this?
Oh, also this sentence kind of confused me; "The Jet noticed nothing, but the hundreds of screaming people inside probably did."
It made me wonder what a jet would notice, not being a living thing. Also, 'probably' is a bit strange in usage because if they were screaming, they definitely saw him.
Good write, though! A great premise for your story =) I thought the twist at the end was good.
Once again I like the concept of your stories, but find the way you phrase this a bit inadequate.
Maybe it's just that it's too short. Stories like this sometimes require more details, explanation, to add to the atmosphere, the kind that makes you wanna continue reading even if it could last a million pages.
I think this should be lengthened, seriously, has great potential for a wonderful story and I really like the kind of plots you come up with.
Hmmmm....if he cannot be harmed....what is his motivation for having to give in and do all of those killings? No harm could come to him, so them threatening him is a bit pointless.... just giving a little advice...lol...you have to come up with something that they have on him that we hants hidden...or something of that sort. Perhaps in a few parts a different wording choice would make it more interesting, but over all, good job =)
WOW...this is amazing. There's just something about your stories and main characters that I just love. The ending line is incredible.
There was one typo I saw, and that is in the beginning paragraph. "The majority of those his killed were despicable men"...should be "he killed" not "his killed". I make those little mistakes all the time, lol.
Andrew the idea is that he can let himself be harmed, and although others could't actually harm him, their threats make him obey so he won't get harmed...
Good, but hmmmmmm, I think that if no-one could harm him he could be turned in and stop assasinating ppl. And no-one would hurt him. Duude, outside window decorations???!! Grosssssss.
Hi all I dont like writing about myself so I will be brief. I am 16 and I live in Fallbrook Ca.
How much more brief can you get?
I have some songs I like on here:
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