Sins

Just something i made like ther provers on sins.

Pride in the heart will be your downfall,

Those who seek their own honor are not honored,

Those who make themselves tall will become small,

 

A fool can be flattered and by it can be molded,

He who has humility will have wisdom because of it,

Those who show humility will be exalted,

 

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension and conflict,

Listen and be wise, for drunkards and gluttons become poor,

For drowsiness clothes these in rags of ruin and the corrupt,

 

Fury is overwhelming so be careful what you become angry for,

A peaceful heart gives life to your body but envy rots your bones,

A man who lacks self control will bring ruin as well as a tusked boar.

Reviews

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

Nice...Good poem greg. Biblical concepts too! that's always a plus. Picture's a little morbid, in fact, I thought you were requesting me to read a horror story or something, at first.
"Fury is overwhelming so be careful what you become angry for," A little too long, I think, it dosn't fit the best.
"A fool can be flattered and by it can be molded," hmmmmm...good line, good line.
Good stuff all-in-all.

[Michael X]

wise in concept and intenfully scripted with heart, its written as classic poetic insight that lends feelings of knowledge and ideas that leave the reader feeling edified, like a heart proverb, there is a great depth to this and the metaphorical concepts deliver with powerful effect.

[Seracies]

Powerful ideas and imagery. It felt as though it should be preached from some street corner, with how strong the different messages were. Nicely done.

[Vesa Lee]

Lovely.
An epic retelling of timeless truths.
I felt myself having flash-backs of my "Once upon a time..." Bible study in Proverbs.
Maybe I should go back and read it again...*smile*
Thank you so much you posting this.

[Phenomena]

Did you copy the whole book of proverbs? jk it sounds exactly like proverbs and flows with words of wisdom.
Great write!=]

[Gheeneil]

The first three lines is so powerful! You have touched the conception, the birth and life of a sin. Just wonderful! A great write.

[jumbie's #1 fan]

sounds like the bible. pretty cool though!

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Good advice and well organized.

[Pakino]

Cool love how you wrote each stanza. It felt as if you were giving wise words to the young'uns lol

I think you could kinda make this longer or end it better though kinda lacks in that department.

[Scott Free]

Bravo! *clap clap clap*
This is a good poem. What was the inspiration for it?
I thought the last line was a wee bit long...is there something you could replace 'tusked' with? Something that flows a bit better?
Great one, though. Love it.
Scott