The apple pie draft 3

The third draft of my story. I fixed som critical issues if you notice that anyting needs to be fixed please inform me and Review Review Review

once upon a time, in a far away kingdom lived a very bewitching youthful orphan girl, named Hannah, who was extremely poor, and can barely live on her own. 

She lived on a small and very old ranch on the outskirts of the country , and her possessions were three chickens which provided her with eggs, a cow which gave her milk, and an apple tree which gave her fresh and yummy green apples, and If for example, the girl wanted flour, she would go to the market and trade three eggs to get one pound of flour, and mainly that was the way she lived. 

After years of living that way, she became 18( a grownup), but that meant extra responsibilities , mostly for there was a 

rule in the country which that anybody of age 18 or above is required to give the princess a gift on her birthday , as to show the people's gratitude and love . 

Hannah didn't know what she should give the princess since she was extremely indigent and she didn't have any money to buy a worthy gift, and princess's birthday in two weeks. After of thinking Hannah decided to make something at home , and depending on what she had she decided to make an apple pie, which is a thing that made her infamous in her village, and sometimes even she would sell them to gain some essential goods for life. 

She put all her effort into making a very delicious green apple pie to give to her princess as a present filled with love and gratitude . 

The princess lived in the capital ,d to reach her Hannah needed to travel for about a day to get there ,so after she gathered all her allowance she rented a horse carriage with a rider and went to the capital wearing a gorgeous emerald green gown that her mother left her. 

After reaching to the palace Hannah was told that she must kneel in front of the princess and award her the gift . 

She entered and did the ritual as told, and presented the princess her gift, she was a 100% positive that the princess will love her gift, but little did she know that her happiness wouldn't keep up for long. 

After the princess unwrapped her gift and saw that it was a pie she immediately laughed herself out as did all the other visitors. 

poor Hannah didn't understand what was going on. And when the princess eased out of her laughing tantrum she told the girl : " you silly girl, do you think that your apple pie is a gift worth giving to a princess like me? I have chefs working to serve me all day long, and they can make pies a hundred times better than this filthy one" and then threw it on the floor in front of the girl and said " now get out of my face and out of my whole palace , and don't you dare come in again except with a gift that is worthy of this high and might status " all the visitors then laughed at her with the queen. 

The young girl felt very humiliated and didn't know what to do so she ran out of the palace as fast as she could while the tears streamed down her angelic face , as she knew that she had no place to go to especially after this vast amount of humiliation . As a result, she decided to far far away and tart a real life ,but after about two hours of running she became very tired and collapsed under a large tree and cried herself to sleep. 

Meanwhile, the prince of the neighbouring country was passing through the forest to hunt down some night animals. The prince was a fairy tale prince, by all means, he was handsome ,nice and his people loved him ,whenever they needed anything they went to him straight away and he always listened and solved their problems . 

And while he off at the night he saw Hannah lying helplessly under a large tree and wondered what wrong , finally he decided to help the girl, so he ordered his guards to take the girl with them to the palace where they will take care of her. 

Hannah woke up suddenly but was very shocked to find herself sleeping on a very comfortable bed, in a place she didn't recognize. 

After concentrating she found a very handsome young man sitting on a chair next to her bed, he asked her how she was but she felt really embarrassed and didn't answer ,he then said to her : " don't worry you're safe now just tell me why were you in the forest that night" Hannah then explained the whole situation to him, 

" hmmm.. I see" he said " so she humiliated you in front of everyone " 

"yes " 

"well, then would you want to take revenge from her? " 

"what? no of course not! I'll just leave and go far away and start a new life" 

the prince was shocked from how white her heart was and he knew for certain the if he wanted a queen to rule the country with him she has to have such a white heart, so she can feel with the poor , and those in need . 

After a few days of her stay in the palace and after proposing her will to leave ,the king and the prince asked her if she agrees to marry the prince and become queen, Hannah was shocked and said : 

"but why do you want a poor girl whom you barely know to become the queen? " 

the king replied : 

" you are a very nice girl who doesn't hold grudges and understands the poor, so you would make a perfect queen. what do you say? " 

"of course," she said. 

then the prince told her two things :first of all , that her country's head committee came and asked him to rule the country instead of the mean princess after what she had done to you ,and to break the new to her he asked the mean princess to come visit for lunch tomorrow and he wants her to make 50 pies. 

"50?? but why" 

"you will see soon enough I promise" 

Hannah then spent the next day in the kitchen making the 50 pies she was asked to make, and after that, the prince also asked her to get ready in a very beautiful manner and never to enter the dining hall except when he asks her to. 

Hannah finished them slightly before lunch and went to get dressed as she was asked, she went to the room near the dining hall waiting to be called . 

Meanwhile the prince welcomed the mean princess and took her to the dining hall, and she was shocked to see that it was full of apple pies but she dares not say anything because she was way to scared of what the prince would think of her , since she didn't yet know that he was engaged and she thought that he invited her over to ask her to get engaged to him. 

"Taste them, " the prince said "they are made especially for you with a very special and secret ingredient. " 

After tasting them she was shocked out of her senses and commented : 

" OMG!! they taste so lovely I wish I could keep eating them forever!! " 

"Are you saying that to satisfy my or is it the truth? " asked the prince. 

but the princess was too busy filling her mouth to answer. 

"the chef who baked these special pies for your honor wants to meet you, so should I let the chef in ?" 

"oh yes, please " 

Then Hannah entered 

the mean princess choked on the bite in her mouth from the surprise , after she swallowed she bellowed 

" you are the same poor girl from my birthday party aren't you? oh, my did you come to the prince and make up a little fake story to get his pity and steal him from me ?" 

Hannah was stunned from those words, and she stood paralyzed . 

"No" interfered the prince. " no she didn't I found her unconscious in the forest and brought her here to help her, and then I sucked the truth out of her, and prepared this whole lunch without even the tiniest bit of her knowledge. " 

"listen to me Diana "added the prince "never ever dare you talk to my wife-to-be this way ever again. and oh has anybody told you that your people decided that they don't want you anymore and they asked me to be their king especially after what happened on your birthday? and sadly I couldn't decline the offer , so after Hannah and I get married we will rule both countries together. " 

the mean princess stood stunned and was as rigid as a rock . 

"take her out " ordered the prince and they did. 

And after Hannah and the prince got married they indeed ruled both countries together and the mean princess was nowhere to be found. she may have gone out of those countries to a new place where she can have a fresh start and be a nice person and respect everybody and live the life of normal civilians or maybe not !  

Author's Note

Please review. I accept the harshest types of criticism