If you persevere we persevere

After a few days of sending that form to the doctors without borders organization, I sat down in my garden to enjoy the beautiful spring weather which I loved the most.
After half an hour of quiet time and relaxation I decided to check my facebook account.
I logged in, and what i saw made me wish I never had.
Pictures of children, woman, men,and elderly all killed or burned to death. An image that only a dark hearted person can tolerate
Men and women were crying. Children were orphaned, and forced to take care of their siblings after their parents died under the shattered pieces of their homes, standing as strong as mountains in front of everyone while breaking down on the inside.
An old man sitting between all this mess and crying his eyes out. From the look of him you see he has suffered a lot through only, 1 hour of bombings, as the news stated. But is that true? Was it more or less? We can never know.
Then I stopped by a picture of a journalist who took a selfie while the dead bodies where behind her.
Is this the humanity we were born with? Is this the independence that those civilians wanted for their country?
I was still swallowing the shock of the horrible scenes I saw when I wanted to go to sleep, and I kept weeping on the ver pitiful condition the world reached to till I fell a sleep

Reviews

[Lydia J]

Ahhhh. My computer is so glitchy.

Continuing.

"Children were orphaned, and forced to take care of their siblings after their parents died under the shattered pieces of their homes, standing as strong as mountains in front of everyone while breaking down on the inside."

I would definitely recommend paying close attention to sentences like the run on sentence above. Run on sentences are very easy to do and I find myself writing them into my own paper all the time. For this particular sentence I would recommend taking out their parents dying because it's kind repetitive with already talking about how they got orphaned. Here's an idea of how you could write it.

"Men and women were crying. Children were orphaned and left to take care of their siblings. Yet they still stood as strong as mountain. trying to hide the flood of tears on the inside."

I don't know. That's just an idea. It's up to you.

Anyways, it's a very emotionally strong piece of work. I definitely think this is going to turn out to be a tearjerker. If you continue writing it, I'll continue reading it. :)

[Truths reflection]

Thx for reading this chapter too.
Your right it looks better I will edit it and I am really looking forward to your constructive reviews
Thx for reading and reviewing and hopefully you will like how the story will proceed:)