Retribution

'She told us to love your family unconditionally because they are the ones who hold you together..'

Where people crowd around the willow tree,

                        All so careful and graceful as they creep,

                                    Towards the man in the centre ----

composed as he weeps.

 

The heart-wrenching sobs,

Tears splashing like globs,

Those around him do not understand"

The means for a loved one, brutally lost

 

It takes time to heal, they say

Now's the time to be closer to God, so pray

Why must they be so difficult!"

They know he cannot leave, he must stay.

 

Where people crowd around the willow tree,

                        All so careful and graceful as they creep,

                                    Towards the man in the centre ----

composed as he weeps.

 

“Oh my love, why did you leave

Me and our son, only age three

I know it wasn’t your fault"

But this, this pain in me is buried deep!

 

 For every stab he punctured in you,

Every struggle and pain he put you through

I give you my oath, my promise, I swear"

I will get vengeance, seek justice without further ado!”

 

 

The heart-wrenching sobs,

Tears splashing like globs,

Those around him do not understand"

The means for a loved one, brutally lost

Reviews

[Legacy]

TruthBeTold,

First off, let us start with your screen name - this name has a particularly vengeful ring to it. (Intrigued already).

Next, the title of your poem "Retribution" - okay now I know someone has wronged you.

Even next, the format of your poem is original and eye-catching. It sets a tone of 'there's a really important statement coming up'...

As for your poem, it penetrates my soul and brings forth words that are not so nice... the act anyway. I know the subject of the poem is of value and truly loved by many, irreplaceable - of course.

I know the act of brutality is a struggle to pull through, one to which only retribution will due.

The genuine feeling of this poem and the imagery is a rare find and should be read by many. I hope you place this poem in Poetic Infusion Society's contest Dark Secrets, for there is a home awaiting it. That is if you haven't entered yet...

Excellent all the way around!

Thank you for sharing,

Legacy

[ClaireBear]

this is really sad and really good. it's amazing, actually! i love the imagery. but if i may make a suggestion, some of the rhymes were a bit too forced for my liking. you should try to make it a little bit more natural in the future. other than that, great job! :D keep it up!