Tearing

Tearing away from you was torture,
Haunted my soul night and day.
But because of it we can nurture
Our love so it's here to stay.

Only time can tell whether our love
Was just a cheap fantasy;
If it's something we will rise above
Or enter in ecstasy.

I hope you have the strength to endure
Since it's hard to keep apart.
If these feelings don't fade, I am sure
A new life together we'll start.

Reviews

[Camoens, The Shadow-fir..]

Quite well done my friend. I like the hope of your situation that you captured here. Hope that she will endure. Hope for a new life together. But what I truely enjoy about this poem is the surety that you placed. The surety that even if you both rise above the feelings of love, that you will still be together. The surety that You will endure.

You used a different rhyme scheme from what you normally do. You like to use as few words as possible to strengthen the message of your poem, but if you cut out words to shorten it, you risk losing some of that message. In your first verse second line you use past tense with

"Haunted my soul night and day"

This doesn't quite match with the rest of the poem, you say it haunted, has it stopped? The rest of your poem doesn't make it feel like it, if your trying for a metered verse, you could use "It haunts" and get your point through

The final line in your second verse does this, you said

"or enter in Ecstasy"

Your former line didn't give a location for the entering in, so the reader may well ask "Enter in where" when you likely meant Enter into ecstasy.

I enjoyed your poem my friend. A little smoothing out and it'll be perfect, but despite that, this ranks very high on my favorites that you've done, keep up the good work.

The Shadow-Fire Poet