Come Be Mine

Simple...

Come be the girl
Who feels safe in my arms
And I'll be the man
Who helps you face tomorrow

Come be the girl
Who's tears I wipe away
And I'll be the man
Who makes smiles from sorrow

Come be the girl
Whose pampered when she's sick
And I'll be the man
Who'll be here through thin and thick

Come be the girl
Who looks forward to every night
And I'll be the man
Who won't stop till' sunlight

Come be my girl
For now just take my hand
And I'll be the man
Who loves you all he can

Author's Note

Plain-style...

Reviews

[BLFK]

I loved this. I always enjoy hearing poetry from guys. I find myself always drowning in your wording. It's somewhat the same, but very different from a girl. I thought this was really touching. It made me smile, and then almost want to cry at the last few lines. . .
"Come be my girl
For now just take my hand
And I'll be the man
Who loves you all he can"
I loved the fact that this was simple. You didn't need fancy words to make it touching, it's just here. I can't wait to read more of your work.

BLFK

[cest la vie]

Plain -style with un-plain verses. Beautiful to speak.. I read this outloud.. Such joy in each verse. Very nicely written.

[Tayler]

Honestly, your girl is a lucky one.
Great job, simple yet romantic.

[Surrealstorm]

I really loved this poem. It was very romantic but not gushy. I was hooked from beginning to the end and though the style was 'plain' it was still captivating. I think it expresses what every woman wants to hear from a man. Great write!

[David]

not bad at all. kept me hooked the whole way through.

[Dysis]

I really enjoyed this .Very emotional. I like your style in this poem. And I love your choice of words. Great job. =)

[Emily B]

There is beauty in simplicity. There are a couple of nit-picky little changes that I might suggest. I'll add them in a note.

Have you ever looked at a poetic device known as half-rhyme?

[Sarah Erickson]

This is really very touching. I agree with the reviewer below me; it's really nice to hear poetry from a guy's perspective.
Your style, somewhat simplistic as it is, is so easy to follow, and easy to fall in love with. There's such a natural flow to this, it seems to just pour out directly from your heart onto paper.
The last stanza is my favorite, and I find it to be very revealing. It seems to shout out that even the simplest things about your girl make you happy, even if it's only taking her hand in your own.