Angel

Just a free write

They say a hearts desire will lead to greatness,

they say a hearts passion will lead to happiness.

With you here by my side my angel I can show you that

an angel's heart can lead to something beyond words.

Something people cant say anything about.

 

Then one day we will sit on top of clouds and reminice

about the great memories we have created,

the memories we treasure.

 

Then you look the other way and when you turn back around an angel will have her moment and she smiles as a ring is placed around her finger.

A ring of promise, a ring of devotion.

My angel hang on to my hand and ill show you heaven on this earth

and we can make memories worth a lifetime.

Memories that will survive through time.

Reviews

[Sarah]

Aw so romantic ~ I love poetry like this. :D I'm especially a fan of the lines, "My angel hang on to my hand and I'll show you heaven on this earth / and we can make memories worth a lifetime" very nice. :D

[ajasminewallflower]

Perfection. Nuff said. Angels have always been a favorite topic of mine and this is just beautifully written.

[Rachael]

I really like this. As I was reading, I felt like it should be a song. Kind of one of those cliche things, but not quite because it's different than what you usually see. Only grammatical error I see is that you didn't use apostrophes in your contractions. Otherwise very nicely written.

[.]

"Then one day we will sit on top of clouds and reminisce
about the great memories we have created,
the memories we treasure."

wow--this is perfect...gorgeously beautiful!!!

james:-)

[victoria]

this is great:D i love free writes, and the topic of angels, so i really enjoyed reading this. great job :)

[Vanessa]

this is great! sweet and soft!

[twilight-dreamer-24/7]

awwww... i like this. its so sweet!!! i really like the words and the feeling.

[jex]

This is amazing. I don't often get read requests and I must say: thank you for the read request, otherwise I wouldn't have known about this. This is an amazing piece :D

[Cherryblossom]

The poem overall was great :) I like the theme of using angels as inspiration, and that together anything is possible. Great Job keep up the good work :)

[Gabriella]

I think you should definitely do a spell and grammar check because I found numerous errors here. I feel as if the last line of your first stanza isn't really doing much to portray what you're trying to say. It's pretty vague and not necessarily resolved in the rest of the poem. The first thing I thought was, "People can't say anything about it? So no one can argue with whatever this thing beyond words is?" But then I reconsidered and thought it was beyond words because people were unable to say things about it... but still, we never find out what is meant by this. Are you saying it's too beautiful for words, or to confusing to put into words, etc.? As for the theme, I'm not really into describing lovers as angels. I think it's overdone. The first line of the last stanza is kind of weird with tense, you might want to look at that again. Sorry if this sounded too critical, it's really not a bad poem, it's just not my preference.