A Long Hard Hill

The man I was may no longer be,
What ruthless pain she did cause.
Give I did, receive I did not.
Cruel in her unforsaken ways,
The Devil, I do believe, was her name.
For in her world i was meerly expendable,
In mine she was a fixture, That could withstand the test of time.
Love I did, Scarred I am.
Return to be that happy man,
Framiliar surroundings, but still the same.
Changed I am, but not in name.
To hug and hold someone dear,
Yet a sign i have says stay clear.
Afraid I am, to be a lonely old man.
Fight i must to free these chains,
No stone unturned in my search.
For one day i want to wed,
My other half beneath the steeple of a church.
Until that day I search on still,
Just trying to climb this long hard hill.